Monday, July 10, 2006

me repeat me 自分反省会

I noticed an annoying behavior of mine that in many of my past conversations with people around me, even in my blog posts, that I like to be verbally active or in discussion about the same damn topic over and over again. it took me some time to realize that I always talk about the same topic over and over again and it seems that I’ve made a bad impression to other people that noticed (but unwilling to tell me) this socially-unacceptable behavior of mine.

So I took my time today to figure out since when did I became like this, and what are the main reasons that might be the cause to this NOT-cool habit. I took me only like 5 seconds and already I have full knowledge of the reasons. It’s simply because there's really nothing interesting that is happening around my consciousness and that leads me to not being able to construct any interesting topic to talk about, resulting in me repeating the same topic again. But why, oh why, although I live a boring life and have nothing interesting to say, do I want to open my mouth and raise the possibility of annoying the poor listener? Maybe the main reason is that I like to talk, maybe I enjoy being able to communicate with people and maybe I love to make myself feel like I’m socially active.

To make matters more confusing and unnecessarily convoluted than it was supposed to be, while I was writing the first and second paragraph of this post, I suddenly or perhaps may I say, intentionally stumbled on another stupendous theory: of course there are lots of interesting things happening around me, I just don't spend time to stop and appreciate them. I was just being busy and everything else except what I’m focusing on is boring.
I was being ignorant. Arrogance; that's my enemy now.

So after this small 自 分反省会 (jibun hansei kai - means when you think about what you've done wrong, and tries to figure out how to improve yourselves), what did I learn? I learned that I should open my eyes to a wider world and not be soo ignorant; to be more creative when talking with intelligent mammals that is the Homo sapiens and to be more careful and think before opening my mouth.

I got to go out and buy myself some new pink boxers! That’ll make me more polite. Did you know that I was 15 (and that's old!!!) when I first knew how a nude attractive adult European women looks like on a back of a trump card? And the kid who showed that to me is in jail right now for selling pills to school kids and Malaysian university students. I’m not kidding, and I hope that's interesting.


  1. get a pink hello kitty boxers la..btw..15 is least it is a lot better than being 9 when you lost your nowadays.........haish..

  2. i still think that i'm naive and innocent, sometimes haha.


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