Sunday, May 14, 2006

i'm delusional yet i did nothing about it

i'm very scared with what's going to happen with my life if i don't study well but i do nothing about it. my life is OK almost all of time but i'm soo confused with my life right now that i don't have anything to write about, and i don't think that i'll be updating this blog as frequent as i want to. i was actually very worried of the coming university entrance examination. i was soo worried and feel sick because i don't have enough confidence and the talk about starting from my batch, the JPA will be more strict on choosing who they want to further their sponsorship makes it worse. the exams are to be held on the early July and i really should focus my time and energy on preparing for this deadly important exams but oh how i wish i was a freaking master of being able to really focus on studies and books.

it's not that i'm busy or what, i just don't have that much needed morale and motivation to study. i know if i don't further my studies, i can just stay in japan and work here but i don't want that because i still want to be a student, and don't have to deal with the worries and responsibilities of a working man. i know i sounded naive but unfortunately, that's what i'm feeling right now.

each minute i wasted on doing something that's garbage, i felt very wrong; but oh how fast the time go by, it was too late to feel bad about not doing something good with my time. i want to study on and on and don't care about the world but i have to realize that i'm not that kind of person. study and taufiq ali don't click. so what am i supposed to do?

aa who the hell i think i am. people give me money (and lots of 'em) to come here and study so that i can give something back to the people and here's me yapping about how i hate studying. get a grip of yourself taufiq. i really do, so i did some thinking while i was watching the tube last night; エンタの神様 (god of entertainment) is one of my fav shows. so i think maybe i have a solution for my problem. why don't i put a big 'present'; a reward for myself IF i pass the exams. that way i can at least put more effort to achieve my goal; that is to further my studies after i finish my college of tech this year.

so from today, i'm going to promise to reward myself these 'gifts', IF i pass the university entrance exam this coming JULY:

1. buy myself a PS3 (59800 yen, launch date is 11/11/2006)
2. buy myself a new computer with win vista and a directx10 video card
3. get me a j-pop girlfriend. you know, those crazy jap girls with their crazy fashion; but not too crazy, maybe a girl who's obsessed with mini skirts and cute hair styles would do. you know where i'm going with this one.... (this i have to put more effort, but it's not that hard, because i know i can hahahhaha, i've done it before)

so there you have it. another useless and stupid post from me. it's been a while since i last posted and i guess i won't see myself updating this blog as frequent as i used to, at least until the end of JULY. so i leave you with these funny pictures, that have nothing to do with my post today. assalamualaikum ( that's may peace be upon you in arabic yo! ain't it cool? ;p)


1 comment:

  1. japanese flash sites2:11 PM

    hotage.org > http://hotate.org/
    神動画 > http://www.kami-douga.com/

    ReplyDelete

Please use a constant nickname when commenting. Comments from anonymous users is not very welcomed. Select "Name/URL" from the drop-down list below (beside the 'comment as' section). Sila gunakan nickname untuk memudahkan rujukan. ニックネームを使ってコメントして下さい。

Blog Widget by LinkWithin