have you ever been to a japanese beauty salon for men?

well, i have. at the 28th of february 2007, i took my last paper of the final examination. i can't believe it's already over! i was very tired because i've not been sleeping for the past.... 30 hours? maybe? so what better way to release those stress and sleepiness by going to a beauty salon? NOT!

actually, my junior (he's chinese indonesian) gave me this free coupon to try out this new beauty salon in town but i've been busy lately, with the exams and reports etc so finally i have the time to waste some time doing something not worth my time. at first i was like " beauty salon? why the fuck should i go? i don't need to be pretty! because i am already pretty enough hahahahaha ;) ". but considering i have nothing to do after my last paper, i thought arrr what the hell, at least it's free and this could be a new experience, good or bad put aside. i started to look forward to this thing.

so the salon shop has 2 doors. one for men and one for women. so i enter through the men's door, only to be told to re-enter through the women's door. seriously do i look like a women? do i have boobies jiggling and poking out of my chest? does my penis look like a huge clitoris to you from the outside my wore-out jeans? although i have no chest hair, i do have one hair on each of my nipples, that's very man-like right? ok i should just stop there. whatever, i was told to fill out some questionnaires about how i live my life. do i wear makeup? no. how many times have i been to a beauty salon? zero. do i take breakfast? how about dinner? sometimes. how many sex in one week? 2 would be nice but, no. zero. stupid questions and i answered seriously like every nerd would. maybe it's because i just finished a very important exam? i should be more silly next time. IF there is a next time.

i changed into the salon's 'patient' clothing, you know what i mean, a simple greenish white cloth covering the whole body. right after i sat on the long chair, this 2 onesan (by their skin texture, voice pitch and the slight visibility of wrinkles on their lower eyes, i'd say they're in their late 20s) shows up, introduced themselves and started to work on me. it was weird. they put stuff on my face. stuff that are unexplainable to a normal person. fluffy, sticky, oily, bubbly... i don't remember how many times they kept changing the substance to put on my face. they also use this weird face masks that are very soothing and relaxing, right before they ask me to hold this steel rod so that they could electrocute me! they said it would activate the substances they're putting on my face and it was safe. crazy bitches! then they let this flow of hot steam to my face while they massage my WHOLE body. it was a nice massage but i can't help but felt like being sexually molested by two japanese adult women hahahaha.

anyways, when it was over (it took about 90 minutes!), i asked the onesan in charge what would be the normal fee for the services i took that day. i got the free coupon so of course it's free for me that day. i almost coughed when i heard that it cost 20000yen (rm600) for the services! damn, her customers must be so fucking retarded. that day i knew the truth about how expensive beauty care is. it makes me want to appreciate beauty more. yeah i was just kidding about my last sentence, but still... WOW.

the onesan asked whether i would come again as a paying costumer, and being a good person, i told her that i would like to think about it, but to be honest, i would be very happy to say: " why the fuck should i pay for something as useless as a beauty treatment at such a blood sucking expensive price?! fuck no i ain't coming back just to get electrocuted by you crazy people again!! " to her face. it's good that i took that anger management thingy. and they were very nice to me the whole time.

on the way to the train station, snow started to fall. aaahhh this degree of small tiny snow droplets are so cute to watch. do we call it droplets anyways? isn't it used for liquid only? argh my english sucks! on the way to the ticket machine, i noticed a young female station attendant standing beside the platform entry doing nothing. because i had nothing else good enough to do, i went up to her and asked how do i get to sansai, IN ENGLISH. i always do this to young female station attendant, just for the fun of watching them struggle to explain to me in their horrible english. it's free entertainment, really, you should try. and because japanese people are so dedicated and kind, they WILL try their best to help you; and they look cute too, getting their guard down like that.

but not this one. her english is almost perfect! she has a little japanese accent but everything else is quite impressive. now it's me who got played. i thanked and praised her good english, and say good bye with a broad smile. so i learned another lesson that day: don't think that every female japenese train station attendant has horrible english; well most of them are, but definitely not ALL.

なめたら、あかん