reasons why i declined your 'friend request' from friendster

ok. so to those who have a friendster account, i'm sure you have got some random people that you really don't know, requesting you to accept them to be in your friends list, right? if you don't know what i mean because nobody has ever requested you to be his/her friend, i pity you. i really do.

at first, i used to just accept ALL the requests with an open heart (and face the consequences). The thing that irks me is when these new internet friends that you know nothing about; they talk without thinking, are being rude and say stupid annoying shit for nothing.

When I sent them a message and asked them to introduce themselves before I could accept their friend request, they didn’t reply back. so you asked yourself "why the hell did she/he wanted to be my friend when she/he doesn't even want to reply my messages in the first place?".

Worse, they replied back with an immature fury, accusing me of being ‘sombong’ and then forced me to just accept the request, jgn banyak songeh2 org lain sumer accept ajeh ko ingat ko bagus sangat ke.

So their intentions are clear. They don’t want to have anything to do with me accept my name on their friend list. They don’t want a warm, friendly relationship; they just want to brag at how many friends they have in their pathetic little lists; like a stupid race of dumb children trying to show off a list of FAKE bullshit. I want to say this to these kinds of people: I rather have only one friend that I know, then having a thousand friends that I DON’T know. Fucking posers.

These people come and go in a very randomly fashion; but I DO occasionally meet people that are truly sincere to know more about me and share their opinions and wonderful experiences with me; and I really appreciate these people and they are the real reason why I’m still in that stupid frienster network. It is so awesome to meet these warm people who possess deep character and thought provoking opinions, being able to hold an intelligent argument or discussion; and at the same time be playful and joke about everything.

That is why whenever I got a friend request from someone that I don’t know, I would first look at their profile to decide whether she/he is an amazing person or just another annoying homo sapien. Of course, one should never judge a book by its cover; but let us be realistic here, I can never be accurate in my judgment, but there are some obvious characteristics that you could easily see in these people that the amazing people does not have.

I am not a mean person, but sometimes, you have to be mean at annoying random people; it is less stressful that way. I have decided to ‘clean up’ my friends list and only let those people who have a connection with me, stay there. All the garbage must be vaporized.

This has got to be the most arrogant thing that I have ever done, but below are some of the criteria of people that I plan to delete from my friends list; and it also applies to when I’m deciding to accept friend requests from strangers:

1. I don't know you and you didn't send me any message introducing yourself. Wanna be friends? Be polite and say hi or assalamualaikum first. Remember, introduction is very important, don’t they teach that during kindergarten?

2. When I asked you to introduce yourself, you started to be rude said "don't be sombong la just accept".

3. You're lonely, annoying underaged girl.

4. You're a guy that has no connection with me what so ever. We share no interests, we don’t know each other and you don’t even care if I ever existed.

5. You're a guy but you wear pink tank tops and short pants.

6. All of your profile pictures were fake and do not have even a single picture of the real you.

7. You can't type understandable Malay or English. Or Japanese.

8. You don't speak one of these 3 languages: Malay, English and Japanese.

9. You got like thousands of people in your friends list (you gotta be kidding me !?).

10. You posted/spammed the bulletin board with boring, stupid personal Q&A question that nobody cared about. You know, those useless posts about what did you ate for lunch today and when is the last time you cried and what are you wearing now etc. seriously, NOBODY GIVES A FUCKING SHIT. NOBODY!

11. You posted/spammed the bulletin board with boring, stupid posts about stuff like if you don't forward the message to 100 other people your account will be deleted. Worse, if you don't forward it, you'll have bad luck in the future and your daughter will be raped and all the horrible things in this world will happen to you. Its 2007 already, but if you still believe that those things are real, GET OFF THE FUCKING INTERNET YOU DUMB FUCK. SYIRIK GILA!

12. You an unstoppable japan-mania. Just because I live in japan does not mean that I know everything about Japanese drama, anime, manga or jpop!

13. You're a really, really attractive girl but your profile is full of your pictures with your boyfriend; hugging each other and stuff, breaking boundaries that you should follow as a muslim couple. No, the whole world does not need to know how a romantic couple you two made.

14. You're a really, really attractive girl but you like to talk gossips about celebrities and the stupid, useless stories about their life.

15. You're single young women, but you're fat and ugly (sorry, the society we live in is harsh). Please do believe in fate though. Jodoh tak akan datang kalau tidak dicari.

16. You're gay.

17. Your friend is gay.

18. You're a 16 years old girl but you dress like a fucking slut. Dress proper and be polite, kid!

19. You're a creepy nerdy asian guy with HUGE glasses. The ‘geek’ spot is mine, don’t try to take it away from me!

20. You tried to 'ngorat' me. You really think it's going to work? But then again, the way men and women perceived courting is changing little by little with the advancement being made by feminist and social thinkers, so I guess it is not that bad. Just make sure it was done with taste and passion. ;) I like chasing, not the other way around though; but I’m all open to new ideas and experiences!

21. You simply are annoying me to the bones. The immature use of broken + rojak language. The foolishness and immaturity you brought to your writings. All the empty and fake comments you made at my pictures. Meaninglessly annoying graphics with sounds that you put on my profile page.

This is the main criteria: immaturity, fakeness and lack of original characteristics that appeals to me.

With that said, I have a message to those people that I have deleted or denied from being in my friend list: I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings with my words but you have to understand that you have annoyed me and this is the internet where as long as i don't physically harm you, it's OK. I mean you no harm at all, it's just that I wanted peace and I don't want to have to tolerate with useless annoyance. So please stop sending me messages telling me that I’m an asshole. I know that very well already. It is my entire fault that you're annoying. It’s my fault that you're a dumb-ass. If I’m really an asshole, why do you want to be my friend in the first place?

I’m not a happy friendly guy, can't you tell how twisted is the workings of my mind by just reading my profile? I love sarcasm and dark humour, and I don’t expect everyone to understand me.

Not like all those malaysian reality-tv idols (akademi fantasia, mentor, malaysian idol etc.) that don't give a fucking shit about their ‘hardcore’ fans except for their money and support, I don't want to pretend to be nice, always giving out fake smiles and trying to please everyone for their money. This is me. I might change someday, but for the moment, I don’t want to be hiding behind a mask and be fake and empty. Well, at least I tried.

If I don't want to be your friend, just accept it. I’m a nobody. Forget about me and just ask other random people to be in your friends list. I’m asking politely for you to FUCK OFF and leave me alone please. Just don't forget to 'undi sakan' your favourite idol whilst letting all the starving children in darfur die of malnutrition and genocides.

Stupid humans. Sometimes i wished i was an alien so that i could go to earth with my space ship and kill you all with my awesome green laser beam.

Naah. I was just kidding.

I will ONLY incinerate the men and the elderly to leave the female home sapiens as sex slaves. MY sex slaves.

p/s: I am not trying to be someone that I am not. I really wish you’d met other people that are amazing and bring benefit to you through the popular networking website such as friendster. It is unfortunate that I don’t like you enough for me to be interested in knowing you. This is the internet; there are thousands of other assholes that are even worse than me. This is the reality of how harsh the environment is. I don’t have all the time in the world to care about something so flat, normal and boring. Peace out!