Thesis Crisis of The Weekend

I woke up this morning to the sound of my cellphone buzzing.

YOU GOT MAIL

受信メールが届いています

It was from my research professor, so I know that this will be an important one because he normally sends emails ONLY when there is something really necessary to be informed; but this time I was not prepared at all for this particular email.

My professor’s father died last night, and today he is going back to his hometown in Kyoto to take care of it. Rest In Peace.

He also said in the mail that he is taking a brief break and probably will not be in Akita until next week.

I was really sad to hear this, but then I realized that I should be more shocked, worried and sad even more:

I was supposed to meet him tomorrow (Monday) so that I could present him my preparations for the coming thesis interim-presentation on Wednesday. The objective of the meeting is to make sure that the decisions and choices that I made in preparation for the presentation is in-line with his visions about the thesis; and also to check the flow of the whole presentation, confirm the data and simulation method, and also my Japanese grammar.

But now with him not being able to make the meeting, I am left to check and fool-proof my own work, which is very difficult for me to do at this point because I just got the theme of the thesis 2 weeks ago, therefore not acquiring enough knowledge and intellectual skills to do it myself.

I’m kinda fucked here.

Ok, it might not be as bad, but what worries me is not the presentation, but the ‘questioning time’ AFTER the presentation. I’m worried that the other professors, who are going to attend the presentation, are going to torture me with sarcastic critics on how half-assed my ideas were and how terrible the presentation was.

Having to do the presentation without first consulting with my research professor, I really have lost confidence to perform well, presenting and answering questions correctly. Japanese professors are pretty vicious when it comes to criticizing student’s presentations. They will rip and tear you apart if you make a dumb mistake, and that will really make you ‘down’.

Ah! Enough with the whining! I can do this! I've been in worse conditions before so bring it on bitches!

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On the other hand, I’m so disappointed in myself at how bad I handle the death of the people of the people that I know. I really have a problem on what to say to them at these sad times. I really want them to know that I felt sorry for them, but I lack the proper social skills to tell them my feeling. This is because I’m always concerned that I might have a slip of the tongue and totally make it worse for him/her.

I really don’t know about what is the proper response that I should give my research professor. If anyone out there has an idea, please share it with me. Should I call him? Should I just send my condolences through email? What should I say? I'm really clueless and lost here

:(

Click To Reveal Update

After thinking carefully about what I'm going to write, finally I have decided to send the professor something simple. This is what I sent him:

突然の訃報にただ驚いています。心より御冥福をお祈りいたします。中間発表は頑張ってやりますので、心配しないで下さい。それでは失礼します。

At first, I was going to sent him something that I later realized as being too 'formal and native' for a foreigner to write. Something like this:

突然の訃報にただ驚いております。どうかご遺族の皆様 もお気持ちを強く持って、お力をお落としになりません よう、ご自愛下さいませ。心より御冥福をお祈りいたし ます。

I hope everything will be fine with his family.

And also my interim-presentation.

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urbanisasi dunia tidak lah seburuk yg anda sangka

現在の地球の人口の半分以上は都会に住んでいると言われている。そして、毎年都会に住んでいる人は増え続くと予想されている。この「田舎から都会に」という変動は「自然から逃げる」とも呼ばれている。この「自然から逃げる」という言葉は、非常に悪いイメージを持っている。その悪いイメージが付く理由としては地球の表面を都会化にするため自然を壊して環境を変えなければならないからだと考えられる。

　　しかし、地球の工業化と都会化の成長の一般的な過程は環境に影響を与えるが、あらゆる問題について、かならずしも都会を非難すべきではないと思う。都会は汚い廃棄物を出す工場ではない。都会は高密度における人々の集まる、かなり環境にいい場所である。なぜなら、田舎のように広まった所で住むより、都会で一緒に群生する方がはるかに少ないエネルギーを使用することができるからである。

　　人間がより多く都会に住めば住むほど、効率の高いレベルのエネルギーの使い方、そしてより低い無駄遣いを抑えることができる。減退しているコミュニケーションと輸送のコストで、都会はこれまで以上に重大になった。都会は知性の扉になり、新しい技術の開発をより早く、そしてより効率よくできる。そういうものとして、都会は人間資本(human capital)と革新を作り上げる知的な接続を創造する。

　　市街化の普及は途方もないほど有益な過程である。都市の人々はより経済的でそして生産的で生活と仕事をすることが出来る。都市の密度は何百年間もの革新の源泉だと思う。都会には貧困、汚染、および病気のような問題が悪評につながりはあるが、その問題の原因は都会だと言えない。

　　言い方悪いかもしれないが、都市が人々を貧しくするから、貧民がいっぱいであるのではなく、都市が貧民を引き付けるから、都市は貧民でいっぱいである。都会は悪いから来るのではなく、都会は良い環境性質を持っているから何百人もの人々が都会に集まりに来る。取引と振り合いの機械を求め、郊外に来る農村からの出稼ぎ労働者にとって都会とはより輝く未来を提供する場所であろう。また都会は、他には手に入れない公共輸送と最低生活保障福祉計画などもある。

　　我々人間は社会的な種であり、そして私たちの最大級の実績はすべて協力的である。都市は、協力的である共同作業をより簡単にするためのマシンであり、人間類の発展に欠かせないものになっている。

　　人間は非常に強い柔軟性を持ち、環境の変化に合わせて自分の習慣を変えていく。よりいい生活の性質を掴むには自然に戻るのではなく、このまま地球が都会化的に進むべきだと思う。しかし、原料として使えるものは自然の中にたくさんあるから、自然の回復と調整して、自然を効率よく使用するべきだと考える。自然は人間のためにあるから、その逆ではない。

bunken happyou

alhamdulillah the presentation went smooth.

well... maybe it did not went exactly like i wanted it to ran.

i happened to forgot to set the stupid automatic progress function off; so the program changes the slides automatically after a short period of time. that was so clumsy of me.

at least i didn't get scolded as bad as okada-kun did.

man, i pity him. he made a little mistake for not using the pointer effectively, and got scolded big time by this one particularly cranky professor.

the very second the ruthless scolding moment stopped, everybody in the room went silent. probably the professor had a bad day, and lashed out on something so small.

he's just out of luck, i guess.

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ok, now i got more time to focus on doing the mathematica programming language fortran. i think i'm kinda left behind in progress compared to the other kids in the research lab. i used to do C++ before, so i guess it wouldn't be that hard to play catch up.

i also have to prepare for the coming job-interview. this time i will have to sit for an aptitude test (適性試験） plus a 'weird' imagination test　（想像力試験）. anything they'd to to make an interviewee's life a little bit more nervous.

cheeky bastards.

*** *** *** *** ***

lunch menu for the day: 六条麦茶（rokujyou mugi cha - rokujyo barley tea), さば弁当 (saba bentou - mackerel lunch set), 野菜生活１００紫の野菜 (murasaki no yasai - purple veggie drink), glico's とろーりクリームプリン (torori kurimu purin - thick creamy pudding).

itadakimashita! (gochisousamadeshita - nagano style)

praktis present

aku start buat slide untuk presentation dari pukul 10:00 a.m.

garu sana, garu sini.

siap pukul 7:00 p.m.

so aku ajak la memba2 satu lab untuk tengok presentation punya rehearsal.

10 minit 32 saat. takde la terlebih limit masa pon.

pastu aku tanya diaorg: so, ada apa2 kesalahan? atau nak komen apa2?

" ok, nak start dari mana dulu. mula2 kan, ada penggunaan kanji yg tak betul. bukan tak betul, cuma bunyi tak best aje. pastu kat bahagian isotope tu, baik jangan pakai kanji, pakai katakana aje, lagi senang org faham. bla bla bla "

seribu satu komen, pembetulan, idea di lontarkan.

ooo nampak nya diaorg nih memang betul2 tengok ngan teliti la presentation aku nih. ingatkan tengok - tengok ayam aje. org jepun nih memang semangat aje all the time.

" bercakap pon kena practice lagi, biar bagi lancar sket. biar bunyi macam org jepun. pronunciation dah ok dah, cuma kelancaran aje yg masih bunyi mcam foreigner "

allo, aku memang foreigner pon.

kulit sawo matang.

hitam manis, kalo ikut kata peminat aku time form 3 dulu.

hehehehe.

pastu pegi panggil prof plak, untuk last check.

" hmmm..... banyak gak kena betul kan nih. lagi penting drpd tu, kamu faham tak teori yg sum frequency generation spectroscopy nih pakai? contact-mode atomic force microscopy nih penah pakai? continuum mechanics ada faham? "

aku geleng kepala. toleh tengok memba2 aku yg sedap aje mengomen aku tadi, diaorg pon geleng kepala.

" ok la kita start dari basic. high school physics. dulu penah buat experiment pecah kan cahaya pakai slit kan? wavelength berbeza ... friction nih kena kira sampai scala nano ... zarah2 nih serap cahaya, tukar kepada tenaga translational kinetic pastu pantul balik jadi haba ... perbezaan friction bole dikesan diantara berlian yg disaluti layer hydrogen ngan deuterium ... bla bla bla "

aku rasa tak penah aku dapat sebanyak ini ilmu dalam masa 3 jam. memang power la prof aku! senang2 aje dia citer subject yg major dalam materials enggineering, sedang kan dia mechanical enggineering punya prof. berasap gak otak aku nak proses sumer information nih.

dah la aku rasa kena tipu ngan cikgu fizik dulu2. teori nak cari friction yg diajar time skolah dulu tak tepat rupanya, kalo nak ambik kira luas dalam skala nano. aku makin faham sekarang kenapa dulu kita kena terima aje result yg padat ngan ralat.

3 jam jugak aku tahan berak. fuuh memang mencabar.

tengok jam kat dinding. pukul 10:30 malam. gilak ah.

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makan tengahari untuk hari ni: 黒豆黒茶(kuromame kurocha - black bean's black tea), Kagome 紫の野菜(murasaki no yasai - purple veggie), 鮭弁当(shake bento - salmon set), クリームカニコロッケ(kuri-mu kani korokke - creamy crab croquette)

uwaa banyok kijo la pulok

- my presentation for the thesis-translation is next week. i'm scratching my head trying to decide on which portion of the thesis that are going to the chopping block department, because it's humanly impossible to present each and everything in 10 minutes. some parts of the stupid thesis must go into the digital dustbin and never be spoken of during presentation day.

- i'm making powerpoint slides for the presentation like crazy! my head is burning.

- today is the due date for the ロボット工学 (robotic engineering) assignment.

- tomorrow is the due date for the 制御工学 (system engineering) assignment.

- the day after tomorrow is the due date for the 環境科学 (environmental science) assignment.

- the day after the day after tomorrow is the due date for me to find the guy who invented the idea of assignments in universities. At first I would extend my hand for a friendly handshake, then when he turns his back on me, I’ll bash his head with a crowbar after i slit his throat. Then I’ll go to his house carrying his decapitated head so that he could see me abusing her 16 years old daughter with an oven-heated banana and 3 sticks of japanese cucumber (キュウリ-kyuri). I’ll sell his young wife as a sex slave to rich pak arabs. Or maybe as sweatshop slaves in China, making nike shoes in poor working environment. I am an opportunist, so I’ll sell his 4 and 10 years old sons to american christian priests, or micheal jackson; the highest bidder wins.

- inappropriately sick jokes aside, you can see i'm pretty busy this week. Next week i got several seminars to attend to, and also the 固体力学 (solid-mass mechanics?) assignment to be delivered.

- although i thought it was over-rated, i bought the 2008 akiyama rina calender. got it yesterday. now i know that i'm so easily deceived by women with beautiful skin plus a nice set of buns. damn it! i remember talking to Tazz about the importance of the quality of cost-effectiveness when considering a product to purchase. this shows that i'm a hypocrite. what a shame. 1300yen down the drain. but i still think oshirina has nice skin complexion and her momo fruit is just juicy to look at.

- i better get back to the powerpoint slides. time is gold. and i'm pissing blood.

- i'm sleeping in the research lab for 7 days straight, starting from today. its inevitable.