Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Japanese Salaryman Life pt.2

Continuing from Part 1.

Every morning I usually woke up at 5:50 a.m.

After letting some sun light into the room, I would rush to the bathroom to take my daily morning shower.

Scrubby me here and there.

After some simple breakfast, I would put on my suit with matching neckties and long sleeved shirts, and get ready to get out of the apartment at exactly 6:50 a.m.; so that I could join my co-workers to go to work together.

Yes, I went to work with my co-workers every morning! What team spirit eh?

Anyways, our means of transportation to go to work is the famous Japanese densha system. Famous for what?

Morning rush hours and suicides of course!

*Densha (電車) means (public) train.

In all seriousness though, work-commuting by train in big Japanese cities (in my situation, Yokohama) is pure pain, and such an energy drowning experience.

There was just too many people during the morning rush hours, and not enough trains to accommodate them; causing extreme over-crowding especially from 7:30am to 9:00am.

In Malaysia, if a train was crowded with people, you would simply wait for the next train and board the less crowded one.

In Japan, even if you wait for the next train, the situation would be the same; the next train is also going to be extremely over-crowded, and you don’t want to be late to work, so you just board the train, NO MATTER how crowded it is.

Some of you might think, well a crowded train might not be so bad?

I want you to watch the video below, and you’d understand why I hate the morning rush hours that I have to endure each day going to work.



Basically this is the kind of trains that I have to board every morning, minus 10 people, maybe.

I got squished, pushed, sandwiched, pressed, feet stomped on and some more.

What makes it worse is that the majority of the Japanese salaryman here don’t believe in morning showers. Damn some of them do stink!

And I have to endure all if this for an hour every morning; what a great way to start work!

It does not happen very often, but sometimes there are people who choose to use the train, not to go to work, but to kill themselves; and we morning train commuters hate them to the bones!

Not only they delayed and decrease the available train, they also made such a mess on the platform. The number of passengers would drastically increase two, three folds when this happens, and it caused such human-traffic congestion inside the station.

So please to those who wants to kill themselves, please do it without causing other people trouble, especially when we all are rushing to go to work!

Kill yourselves in a hole that you dug by yourself in the comfort of your own lawn, please! O wait a minute, not many people in Japan has lawns!

Anyways, with so much human density in such a small space, it was inevitable that this would happen: CHIKAN.

*chikan (痴漢) means molestation, in this context, molesting female commuters in the densha. Normally this would consist of an old Japanese salaryman, rubbing his penis against the lady in front of him, or using his hands to grab and have a ‘feel’ on any available female’s ass inside the crowded train.

I pity the Japanese girls that they’re living in a land full of perverts.

I’ve seen it with my own eyes, and in such crowded situation, it would be hard to know whose hand it is that was grabbing that OL’s ass.

*OL = short for ‘office lady’.

What I don’t understand is that most of the victims stayed silent and still, their faces facing down, like nothing wrong happened. Maybe they’re just too ashamed to make a scene and report it to the police.

Maybe they thought, if I just endure this, I might get to work on time!

But because such chikan perverts exists, I’m always cautious in making sure that I won’t be mistakenly accused of doing such acts.

Now, that’s another whole story…

Enough with train suicides and train molesters… all of this makes me dull.

Anyways, I should be glad that starting from tomorrow, I won’t be using the train anymore because I got sent to further my training in Sagamihara, which is just a 20 minutes walk from my apartment!

Although this only lasts for 3 weeks, I’m looking forward to a new scenery; no more crowdedness, no more suicidal nuisances, no more salaryman perverts grabbing high school girl’s asses.

Three weeks of awesomeness!

[note: the extreme 'crowdiness' situation only applies during morning rush hours. using the train to get home from work in the evening is often quite relaxed; sometimes i could even sit down on the seats!]

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

uwaa banyok kijo la pulok

- my presentation for the thesis-translation is next week. i'm scratching my head trying to decide on which portion of the thesis that are going to the chopping block department, because it's humanly impossible to present each and everything in 10 minutes. some parts of the stupid thesis must go into the digital dustbin and never be spoken of during presentation day.

- i'm making powerpoint slides for the presentation like crazy! my head is burning.

- today is the due date for the ロボット工学 (robotic engineering) assignment.

- tomorrow is the due date for the 制御工学 (system engineering) assignment.

- the day after tomorrow is the due date for the 環境科学 (environmental science) assignment.

- the day after the day after tomorrow is the due date for me to find the guy who invented the idea of assignments in universities. At first I would extend my hand for a friendly handshake, then when he turns his back on me, I’ll bash his head with a crowbar after i slit his throat. Then I’ll go to his house carrying his decapitated head so that he could see me abusing her 16 years old daughter with an oven-heated banana and 3 sticks of japanese cucumber (キュウリ-kyuri). I’ll sell his young wife as a sex slave to rich pak arabs. Or maybe as sweatshop slaves in China, making nike shoes in poor working environment. I am an opportunist, so I’ll sell his 4 and 10 years old sons to american christian priests, or micheal jackson; the highest bidder wins.

- inappropriately sick jokes aside, you can see i'm pretty busy this week. Next week i got several seminars to attend to, and also the 固体力学 (solid-mass mechanics?) assignment to be delivered.

- although i thought it was over-rated, i bought the 2008 akiyama rina calender. got it yesterday. now i know that i'm so easily deceived by women with beautiful skin plus a nice set of buns. damn it! i remember talking to Tazz about the importance of the quality of cost-effectiveness when considering a product to purchase. this shows that i'm a hypocrite. what a shame. 1300yen down the drain. but i still think oshirina has nice skin complexion and her momo fruit is just juicy to look at.

- i better get back to the powerpoint slides. time is gold. and i'm pissing blood.

- i'm sleeping in the research lab for 7 days straight, starting from today. its inevitable.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

have undies, the otakus will follow

Every Sunday, the street of akihabara is closed to vehicles to allow pedestrians the much needed breathing space to fully enjoy shopping and sight seeing in the famous ‘Electric Town’ of Tokyo. The empty space provided also gave certain people certain opportunities: cosplayers to show-off their latest anime costumes, wanna-be singers to promote their self-fund cds, street performers to show-off their skills, café attendants dressed in French maid costume to promote their café, and also gravure idols to show some skin for the sake of promoting their latest work.

And no gravure idol is as crazy as asuka sawamoto (沢本あすか), who has caused quite a stir in the otaku community when she went to the street, lift up her skirt and let hundreds of perverts took pictures of her undies. After the her outrageous 'performance', she climbed down the railings to give out flyers to promote her next gig.

Apparently, these perverts were called 'low-anglers' (ローアングラー), because they only took pictures from low angles; and it's the latest 'trend' in akihabara among fans of japanese 'small-time' idols. And all of this happened on a public road, and can be seen by everyone including children passing by.


. .

What a way to enflame a discussion about how far could freedom of expression and morality go along. Every time she did this, hundreds of low-anglers would flood the streets and with their mobile phones and some, expensive SLR cameras, took pictures of her in ‘funny’ positions and angles.

This being Japan, the police did nothing (because the police are also perverts); well at least until a tv program made a story about it. Eventually, she got caught and charged with public disturbance (迷惑防止条例違反) and to the dismay of her ‘fans’, it was revealed that she was actually 31 years old, 10 years older than what she told the press.

So now the underground Japanese bbs were filled with otaku jokes about how stupid they are, chasing a slutty obasan around with their mobile phones. More pics here .<--- click the link for a more detailed story (japanese).


Talking about such pervertness is always fun, but this time, it’s so over the top that I can’t even make one joke. Sometimes, akihabara is just too much. Remember, she was caught not because of her shameless performance, but of what she had encouraged: that is making huge crowds that disturbed other pedestrian and the flow of traffic.

Man, what a crazy place. Akihabara, enough is enough!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

about the oath ceremony

ok. i DID the sports oath ceremony this morning. it's done. well.... it went quite smoothly i guess because magically i was able to produce a lot of laughter from the kids and they even clapped their hands and cheered even louder than after the 校長 (headmaster) 's morning greeting. i did the oath ceremony using malay, japanese, english and kelantanese all mixed up real good like a cup of starbuck's milk shake. i guess i have failed to make a fool out of myself! yay !

with that done, i have another task to complete before tomorrow morning. i have to practice dancing to japanese pop-idol group: morning musume's renai revolution 21 (モーニング娘。の恋愛レボリューション21) hit song. the whole class ( all male and that includes me ) are going to perform this dance during tomorrow's night stage show; but damn the dance steps are soo hard ! this is the video that i've been dancing to for the past 2 days, trying to remember it all. i have no idea how my friends could dance perfectly to this crap.




the main reason why i'm trying hard to be able to do the dance is because the whole class had agreed ( those crazy fuck-heads ) that those who can't dance are going to be performing a ' lotion-sumo ' show just after the dance is over as a part of the our show for the night. maybe you're wondering what is a lotion-sumo; it's really simple actually. it's the same thing as the real sumo, except you put a lot of lotion and vegetable oil on the ring to make the floor slippery. fuck no i'm not going to participate in that crap; let me do the stupid girly dance please !!!

i, first and foremost, knew perfectly well that i can't dance for a nickel but it's way better that doing the crazy 'lotion-sumo'. that's total humiliation and a disgrace to the human species. yeah i guess you can say that my japanese friends are quite crazy, sometimes. but after actually tried doing the complicated dance steps, now i know how hard it is for the morning musume girls to dance and sing at the same time. what a feat. ok i guess i should go back to watching 4 under aged japanese girls dance like freaking monkeys on crack and try to mimic their girly dance steps. oh i'm so proud of myself.
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