i got the turtle hands!

last night after work, me and one of my co-worker decided to get a sushi dinner.

the day before that was our payday, so we went to this small sushi bar for some nigiri-zushi.

while we wait for our sushi to be served, the master brought to our table a rare delicacy:


the turtle-hands!!!

「亀の手」

well, it's not actual turtle hands, but it looks like it, albeit a more grotesque looking one.

it's known as goose barnacle in english, and kamenote in japanese.

at first i was pretty unmotivated to eat it, because of the disgusting monster turtle hand-look, but i clucked my balls and give it a go anyways.

i forgot to mention that it was raw, meaning not cooked.

it tasted like raw mini-shellfish.

and that was it.

it was not as bad as i thought it would be.

and i finished the whole thing!



i've successfully eaten a japanese delicacy that looks incredibly disgusting, yay!

then our jyou-nigirizushi was served, and it was heaven.

after that we decided that from now on, payday would be SUSHI DAY!

tag reply for adilla

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easily amused cat is not amused anymore

When I moved up into my final year and got accepted into the lab to start doing my final year project/research, I expected that I’m going to be pretty busy; and I won’t have the leisure of time to frequently blog like I used to anymore.

But to tell you the truth though, I don’t think I’m THAT busy.

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Of course, I have seminars to prepare and attend to, I have assignments and I have all the simulations and experiments to do, but I do think that I have the time to blog, as frequently as I want to.

“So if I have the time, then why don’t I blog as frequently as I used to?”

I was thinking about the question above while I was taking my hot shower this morning, and I immediately knew the answer:

Now I’ve changed to be a little bit hard to be amused at anything!

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I used to be amused at anything; and I would blog about it.

I cut my hair, I blog about it.

I saw a pretty girl on the street, I blog about it.

I made chicken curry for my lab partners, I blog about it.

My little sister refuses to hold my hand, I blog about it.

I lost my wallet, and got it back, I blog about it.

I met some clueless Jehovah witness people, I blog about it.

My balls were tortured when I fall from snowboarding, I blog about it.

A strong wind blew the skirt of a Japanese high school girl up, I blog about it.

Ada awek datang nak raba aku time nak gi solat Jumaat, aku blog pasal tuh.

I had a boner, I blog about it.

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The list of me being amused at EVERYTHING goes on and on and on, and I’m still blogging about it! I can’t believe at how easy it is for me to be amused at something; and just look at me amused at how easily I got amused!

But now, I’m not easily amused anymore; and when I'm not amused, I don't blog.

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Like this morning, a cat was raping another cat right at the center of the main road in front of the library, and then a group of girls in inappropriately short skirts came to the rescue and they got the rapist cat running away, and the scared cat pisses while he runs (or maybe he was ejaculating? i don't know).

Usually, I would get amused at useless crap like this and immediately blog about it; but I'm not amused at all, so I won't blog about it.

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Wait a minute; I'm actually blogging about it. Damn!

Aahh crap, I’m really bad at making any sense.

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Anyways, to get to the point that I'm trying to say: the reason why I don’t blog as frequently as I used to lately is because I have become someone who is not as easily amused by life’s simple occurrences as before.

I’ve become numb to what is happening around me.

I’ve become a dead boring person.

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Even if the town that I’m living right now was attacked by ninja zombies, I’m not going to be amused by the taught of the exciting possibilities of my brain being eaten while I scream in horrible pain.

I’m not going to be amused, even if [PUT YOUR MOST DESIRED SEXUAL FANTASIES HERE] happened and it was all for free.

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I need to change.

I need to re-open my eyes to my surroundings and stop taking for granted of all the wonderful things that is happening around me.

Well, I know the economy is bad and the Japanese government is predicting 0% of economic growth for the country until 2010, which sucks for me because I might get less bonus (or maybe worse, ZERO!) when I start working next April.

Being amused at things is good, because it made my life a little bit 'lively', I don't know the word.

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I need to be easily amused again, be thankful for what I got in life, and then blog about it.

Maybe I should start video-blogging too; that might be quite interesting to try on!

mirror needed to help with reality-check

イラっときたから、書くしかないです。

ネットで知り合った、あるマレーシアの女子大生とチャットしたとき、このような会話があった：

「私が最近気になる男の子はすごくハンサムで、本当に格好いい！点数でいえば、８５点だね！」

「あ。。。そう？よく人に点数を付けるね。じゃ、彼が８５点なら、お前は自分のこと、何点？」

「えっと。。。７５点だね！」

うわ！気持ち悪っ！

自分のことがブスだと気づいていないんだ。。。。

俺は大人の態度をとるつもりで、「７５点ってお前には高すぎるよ！」とかは言わなかったけど、ただ、「これはおもろい」と思っても仕方がない。

「じゃ、俺は何点？」と、流れに乗って軽く聞いてみた。

「んんっと。。。４５点だね！」

４。。。４５点？

彼女は冗談のつもりで言っていなかった。マジで俺の外見を評価した。

俺は自分が低い点数で評価されたことにまったく気にしない。

ただし

「私７５点！」というブスに「あんた４５点だよ」と言われたくない。

なぜなら

もし俺が女装して、化粧したら、

絶対俺の方が可愛い！

正直、それほどブスだから

＊　＊　＊　＊　＊

しかし、俺ってひどい人間だね。。。

「自分のこと、どんだけいいと思ってるんだ！？」と思われても、かまわない。

でも、俺は常に相手の気持ちを考えながら、傷つかないように接しているつもり。

だから、このように、あいつの分からない言語でこのポストを書いた。

あいつ日本語読めないから、大丈夫だと思う。

俺はただ、

腹の底から、この納得のいかない気持ちを吐き出して

すっきりしたいだけ。

それだけです。

それから、このポストを読んで、俺と共感を感じる人はいるだろう？

あなたは「他人の事を言う前に、自分の事を鏡で見なさい！」と思ったこと、ありますか？

注意：でも、もし彼女がGOOGLE翻訳機能を利用して、このポストを読んだら、まずい！っかもしれない！そうならないように、願いを込めて、今回のポストを終わりにさせて頂きます。

salad girl question

girl:

you should come by my apartment after the exams is over because i'm making you a special summer salad.

> > >

am i being invited to a normal salad eating ceremony or does it means something else? like, should i bring my own natural dressing?

;)

cultural differences intrigues my imagination.

@ shiny teeth @

You wanna know what I’ve been up to lately?

I’m currently obsessed with brushing my teeth.

I brush my teeth all the time.

When I look into the mirror, I wanna see those pearls shiny.

And clean.

I like to lick my teeth too.

Then I’ll brush them clean.

After I brush my teeth, I always brush my tongue.

At least for 30 seconds.

I like my mouth to be clean.

And pristine.

My Unlucky Day: Pretty Bob-Hair Girl

Woke up this morning feeling like I’ve just survived a horrible train accident with all my internal organs intact. My head hurts as the world is spinning around and around like a merry-go-round and I’m still sleepy like pak lah in the parliament.

Tried to open my eyes to see the phone clock. Damn it, it’s already 0800 hours! And it’s like 15 degrees inside my room. Then I took a quick look into my pants. Damn it, now I have to mandi wajib! The consequences of skipping weekly practice sessions!

I’m late! Well, I’m not late yet, but I am going to be if I don’t get up quick. I couldn’t walk straight as I was reaching for my toothbrush in the bathroom; I almost slipped and could’ve hit the sink. Thank god for the brand new, slip-free pink shower matt. I couldn’t hold it any longer so I took a long, warm piss on the shower matt while I brush my teeth. What an incredible feeling.

Turned the shower on while I’m checking out my a-little-bit-obese -although -still-look- heterosexually- awesome-physique. And there’s no warm water coming out! I tried countless of times but in vain. I can’t take a cold shower, it’s still freaking cold outside!

So I gave up on the shower and just wash my hair and face in the sink. I’m going to call the plumber after class to fix the shower problem; in the mean time, I gotta hurry up. My armpit still smells ok, so I just put some deodorant there. Take a smell of my armpit for the second round; man I smell like a very masculine flower. Awesome!

Turned on the tv to watch the morning news while I’m finishing my glass of milk. What a way to start a day by watching the morning news about (another) psychopathic high school kid slaughtering his 4 family members. And the family dog. With a fucking hammer and a butcher knife. Nice. You know what they say: You can't have slaughter without laughter. Ha Ha Ha. Oooo.....

Suddenly, my stomach sings the sweet whisper of nature, signalling: “I gotta take a shit”. If I take a shit (or crap, which ever you prefer to call it) now, I’d surely be late for class! Oh, no! I’m left with a hard decision here. Take the shit and be late for class, or just hold on to it and be right on time. Hard decisions have to be made. My class starts in 5 minutes so I don’t really have much time to decide; I gotta run. Got on the bike and rushed to the university as fast as I could. The cold morning breeze come brushing my cheeks as I listen to some 80’s malay slow-rock on my creative zen.

I arrived 3 minutes late. That ain’t so bad. I put on my quick feet and rushed to the classroom; just to found it full of emptiness. There was no one in there. No skinny tall Japanese kids with fake blonde hair, no poker faced geeks with the same facial expression (that is NO facial expression) in their group talking about virtual 3D anime girls with a pair of HUGE, enormous sets of… eyes! You thought that I’m gonna say tits, aren’t ‘ya? Perverts!

Anyways, the class was cancelled, for the whole month! Now I’m kinda pissed. I wouldn’t have to wake up such early in the morning if they had put a notice or something last week. Adoih, pasni mesti nak kena hadir kelas ganti; probably at odd hours!


Having no purpose in life for a moment, I decided to get a hot coffee from the university’s mini-market. That’s 120yen a can. Rm3.7 for a can of hot coffee, ridiculous ain’t it?

Picked up a can of boss rainbow mountain coffee and waited in line. I was repositioning my little beast of manliness when I realized that the girl that was standing in line right in front of me was the bob-hair girl that I mentioned in my previous post long ago! And it's happening again, exactly like the first time! Fate, this must be it!

I quickly took my hands off my precious rod of steel and try to look more civilized. Oh man, she hasn’t changed one bit; still as pretty as I first saw her. She was wearing a light-brown one-piece camisole dress and a matching tropical-themed necklace. I can’t stop looking at this beautiful creature, with my mouth open. Alicia Keys – A Women’s Worth.

She puts on the same round bob-hairstyle (which I like very much), revealing her beautiful neck line. She smells hygienic and nice too. I leaned forward to smell her more. It felt like I’m in a garden full of flowers and that time is slowing down to the milliseconds. I watch her with much adore as her gentle hands were busy searching for coins in her big pouch. Roy Orbison – Oh Pretty Women.

Here is how Albert Einstein used to describe his theory of time relativity: "When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it’s longer than any hour. That’s relativity.”

Contrary to Einstein's explanation of his theory of time relativity, standing behind this girl while smelling her sweet perfume has an effect of motion slowing against time; at least in my intoxicated mind. This phenomenon seemed more mysterious then the famous time relativity theories itself. My apologies Mr. Einstein.

Her every movement, the slightest motion, even the flow of her blood and the rubbing between the joints in her bones seemed so translucent and stuck in time. As I watch her move in slow-motion, suddenly she turned her head, noticing me gawking at her. Shit, I must’ve scared her! But her eyes gave me the friendliest smile as the corner of her gummy lips turned upwards to create the sweetest form of the human body language. Then she turned away, and left; leaving her sweet smelling scent and the aura of a person with a warm personality behind, boggling my mind and creating a sensual chemical reactions in my brain.

I knew it. She's wearing some voodoo shit.

Then I have decided. I have to know her name. I have to know what her friends call her. I want to know her interests. Her likes and dislikes. I want to know which ice-cream flavour she prefers: chocolate or vanilla. I want to know what she thinks about guys with no chest hair. Which gaming console is better in her eyes: PS3 or the Xbox 360. I’m not going to ask her about the Nintendo Wii. I want to know everything about this girl.

I will build up the courage and actually walk up to her, and strike a natural conversation; and we are going to talk about normal stuff and I am not going to freak her out with my weirdness. I will get her name and hopefully, her approval to be someone that she knows; not just a stranger, on that very same day. The Smashing Pumpkins – Ava Adore.

Then I should smell her feet.

I used to know this very kawaii Japanese girl that has the sweetest voice, but her foot smells like dead, rotten fish, I’m not kidding; it's crazy! What a turn off. Now you know why I have to smell her feet. I don't like girls with smelly feet.

I took a deep breath, and quickly rushed out of the mini-market to catch up with her as I saw her walking towards her friends. She looked lovely even from behind. The ribbon on the back of her camisole wiggles. Approach anxiety is creeping up my neck. I’m not going to wait until she’s all alone, I’m going to go in there, open the group and have a fun conversation with them. As I befriend her friends, I’m going to display a higher value to fish for attraction and then I’ll be able to close on her. Bait, put her on my hook, release and repeat the process until I build enough comfort. Come on Taufiq Ali, you’re a pre-historic alpha-male, hunting for a mate to replicate. You can do this!

All of this stuff is running back and forth in my mind as I walk towards her group of friends. Somehow they noticed me coming, so I smiled at them so that it wouldn’t look like I’m stalking them in a creepy way. They smiled back. I was close. The game is about to begin. I’m going to get to smell her feet. My heart is racing. Marylin Manson - This Is The New Shit.

As I was about to open my mouth to run an opener, the most unthinkable of all things happened. My feet came into a sudden stop, the hair on both of my arms stood up and it was inevitable; I had a horrible stomach ache like a freak accident; and then I realized on that moment that I should forget about her phone number; and start to find a toilet as fast as I could. Damn it, I should have chosen to take the shit this morning! I knew it. It is always better to choose shit then class. Damn it!

I have neglected the call of mother nature to take a huge dump, and I'm paying the high price for that. Shitting is serious business, don't take it lightly, my dear readers.

With me smiling like an idiot, I walk past them and went straight to the toilet near my research lab. Damn you shit, if it wasn’t because of you, I could’ve gotten her name! Now I look like a loser and scared shitless to approach women.

So I sat on the warm toilet seat, and I shat all of my frustration away. My anxiety, my frustration, my missing luck; and I shat long, I shat hard. It must be the longest shitting experience that I’ve ever had for a long time. Plop. Plup. Plooooppppp!!!!

I shat like I shat all of my internal organs out. I set the toilet to spray washlet water at the highest level from the get go, just to feel the sudden rush and to shock my senses. I need the butt shocker. Slipknot – People = Shit.

It was such a tiring activity. Then I thought to myself, “ Hey, why don’t I took a picture of myself being frustrated and tired of shitting? I should cherish this memory! “.


So I guess today is another boring ordinary day. Except for the pretty bob-hair girl and my shit. Although it was pretty frustrating, there is a small part of me that is being thankful that I got to see her again. When there's a second time, there's going to be a third, and a forth and so on! Oh well, I’m gonna stop writing and get back to finishing grand theft auto IV. I’m like 40% into completing the game. Game on baby!

Note: I guess the name of her hair style is a rounded bob with bangs. Similar to the picture below:


Teladan untuk hari ini: Pastikan anda berak dulu puas2 sebelum pegi ngorat awek jepun.

back from the msaj job-career day

i just got back from tokyo.

i'm extremely tired.

need sleep.

i'll write the details when my head stops making me dizzy and my throat stops making me feel like i've drank the thickest of my own puke.

i better geatt ot bea d as soon as possisloe be ia cna at oqe@@q aaaaaaaaaaaaa fauck

dream on... or make the move

have undies, the otakus will follow

Every Sunday, the street of akihabara is closed to vehicles to allow pedestrians the much needed breathing space to fully enjoy shopping and sight seeing in the famous ‘Electric Town’ of Tokyo. The empty space provided also gave certain people certain opportunities: cosplayers to show-off their latest anime costumes, wanna-be singers to promote their self-fund cds, street performers to show-off their skills, café attendants dressed in French maid costume to promote their café, and also gravure idols to show some skin for the sake of promoting their latest work.

And no gravure idol is as crazy as asuka sawamoto (沢本あすか), who has caused quite a stir in the otaku community when she went to the street, lift up her skirt and let hundreds of perverts took pictures of her undies. After the her outrageous 'performance', she climbed down the railings to give out flyers to promote her next gig.

Apparently, these perverts were called 'low-anglers' (ローアングラー), because they only took pictures from low angles; and it's the latest 'trend' in akihabara among fans of japanese 'small-time' idols. And all of this happened on a public road, and can be seen by everyone including children passing by.

..

What a way to enflame a discussion about how far could freedom of expression and morality go along. Every time she did this, hundreds of low-anglers would flood the streets and with their mobile phones and some, expensive SLR cameras, took pictures of her in ‘funny’ positions and angles.

This being Japan, the police did nothing (because the police are also perverts); well at least until a tv program made a story about it. Eventually, she got caught and charged with public disturbance (迷惑防止条例違反) and to the dismay of her ‘fans’, it was revealed that she was actually 31 years old, 10 years older than what she told the press.

So now the underground Japanese bbs were filled with otaku jokes about how stupid they are, chasing a slutty obasan around with their mobile phones. More pics here .<--- click the link for a more detailed story (japanese).

Talking about such pervertness is always fun, but this time, it’s so over the top that I can’t even make one joke. Sometimes, akihabara is just too much. Remember, she was caught not because of her shameless performance, but of what she had encouraged: that is making huge crowds that disturbed other pedestrian and the flow of traffic.

Man, what a crazy place. Akihabara, enough is enough!

Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men

An article from yahoo discussing the question that many single men with jealous eyes would ask their other single friends : how and why the ugly guy got that hot girl? Pretty good theory, and a good read too. Just don't believe every word of it.

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Women seeking a lifelong mate might do well to choose the guy a notch below them in the looks category. New research reveals couples in which the wife is better looking than her husband are more positive and supportive than other match-ups.

The reason, researchers suspect, is that men place great value on beauty, whereas women are more interested in having a supportive husband.

Researchers admit that looks are subjective, but studies show there are some universal standards, including large eyes, "baby face" features, symmetric faces, so-called average faces, and specific waist-hip ratios in men versus women.

Past research has shown that individuals with comparable stunning looks are attracted to each other and once they hook up they report greater relationship satisfaction. These studies, however, are mainly based on new couples, showing that absolute beauty is important in the earliest stages of couple-hood, said lead researcher James McNulty of the University of Tennessee. But the role of physical attractiveness in well-established partnerships, such as marriage, is somewhat of a mystery.

The new study, published in the February issue of the Journal of Family Psychology, reveals looks continue to matter beyond that initial attraction, though in a different way.

Supportive spouses

McNulty's team assessed 82 couples who had married within the previous six months and had been together for nearly three years prior to tying the knot. Participants were on average in their early to mid-20s.

Researchers videotaped as each spouse discussed with their partner a personal problem for 10 minutes. The tapes were analyzed for whether partners were supportive of spouses' issues, which included goals to eat healthier, to land a new job and to exercise more often.

"A negative husband would've said, 'This is your problem, you deal with it,'" McNulty said, "versus 'Hey, I'm here for you; what do you want me to do?; how can I help you?'"

A group of trained "coders" rated the facial attractiveness of each spouse on a scale from 1 to 10, with the perfect 10 representing the ultimate babe. About a third of the couples had a more attractive wife, a third a more attractive husband and the remaining partners showed matching looks.

Trophy wives

Overall, wives and husbands behaved more positively when the woman was better looking.

The finding "seems very reasonable," said Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at MIT's Program in Media Arts and Sciences and Sloan School of Management. "Men are very sensitive to women's attractiveness. Women seem to be sensitive to men's height and salary," said Ariely, who was not involved in the recent study.

In couples with more attractive husbands, both partners were less supportive of one another. McNulty suggests wives mirror, in some ways, the level of support they get from husbands.

"The husband who's less physically attractive than his wife is getting something more than maybe he can expect to get," McNulty told LiveScience. "He's getting something better than he's providing at that level. So he's going to work hard to maintain that relationship."

Men who are more attractive than their partners would theoretically have access to partners who are more attractive than their current spouses, McNulty said. The "grass could be greener" mentality could make these men less satisfied and less committed to maintain the marriage.

Physical attractiveness of husbands is not as important to women, the researchers suggest. Rather, wives are looking for supportive husbands, they say.

So it seems the mismatch in looks is actually a perfect match. "Equitable is unlikely to mean the same on every dimension," Ariely said during a telephone interview. "It just means that overall two people make sense together."

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So to all those hot women rated 10, don't go for those pretty boys, choose me!

ali punya kari

aku suka makan kari buatan sendiri.

dalam banyak2 kari.

aku paling suka kari buatan sendiri.

kari aku lemak berkrim.

pedas rempah.

masam. manis. sumua rasa ada.

mana tak nya.

dalam tu.

letak susu.

sos tiram.

pati ayam.

sos tomato.

jepun punya sos soya.

cili.

pastu tepung kanji.

kadang2 aku jatuh cinta dengan diri sendiri.

sebab aku masak kari sedap.

nasib baik tak masuk serai aje.

idea untuk resume

就職活動ちゃんとやってる？

「やってるよ。今日履歴書、書こうかなぁって。でも、やっぱ。難しいな。。。」

どの会社に入りたいの？

「それが第一の問題だよ。全く分からん。どの会社にでも興味持たねぇし、どんな職種がいいのかも、ｗｗｗｗ頭真っ白だ！」

どうすんだよお前。やべぇよこのままじゃ。

「分かってるわい！考えてみよっか？俺の好みの職種！」

「何がいいかな。。。仕事が楽で、超儲かる仕事！これは大事！」

「後、いっぱい綺麗なお姉さんがいるところが理想だな。ふふふ❤」

「また、俺三ヶ国語喋れるじゃん？それを生かせる仕事がいいな。。」

「最後は、遊ぶところも近くて、便利で、大都会での職場！」

お前、手が届かない夢見るんじゃねぇーよ！デパートのトイレ掃除係りになれ！

halal sex is better than zina

[WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS VULGAR LANGUAGE AND SOME SERIOUSLY FUCKED-UP CONTENT ESPECIALLY ABOUT SEX; YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED]

Today I’m going to talk about the dilemma faced by some malay muslim couples who is studying overseas while being supported by a sponsorship: they love each other and want to get married but their contract with their sponsors prohibited this. I know this is not a rare case, and it is surely one topic that is interesting to talk about.

I fully understand why these sponsors ruled such agreement on their contracts. They pay money to the students so that they could focus on studying. The sponsors are concerned that if they got married, their focus on studying would plummeted and all they would do is sex sex sex sex sex sexxx xxx xxx every minute of God’s given time; and according to what I read from [The Guide to Violent Children], sex could lead to babies and babies would lead to bigger responsibility that might suffocate the minds of a young couple who are still studying.

Kahwin untuk menjauhi maksiat.

A signed contract cannot be changed, but the problem is: What if the guy cannot bear being patient anymore? What if everytime he catches the sweet smell of her girlfriend’s beautiful skin under those hijab, a sudden rush of blood to his nuclear missile occurs? What if everytime they’re on a date, he can’t help but imagine himself kissing her collar bone and sucking her bubble-gum tongue? He constantly wonders whether she would be aroused by just being sniffed at for 5 minutes while she is naked sitting on his computer chair. What if he cannot control his mini-me anymore when he is with her, especially when she’s licking a lollipop in her right hand and a vanilla ice-cream cone on the other? Yes, my muslim friends, satan is a creative bastard.

My point is that these creative thinking sponsored by satan, although harmless, possesses a great deal of danger of the guy going out of control and finally blowing his load, in and all around her kitty cage. Zina. Adultery.

Of course you could advice the guy to pray more seriously, be more pious and even leave her girlfriend all together; but what if it’s beyond prevention? Clearly it is better for them to get married, and have (protected) sex as much as they wanted. Halal sex is always better than zina. I am totally against the cock-blocking movement.

So finally they decided to get married secretly so that the sponsor doesn’t know. Breaking a contract is a big risk, but getting permission from their parents is another problem.

Most parents would surely be against these marriages; they want their daughters to finish their studies first before allowing one young men to break their precious princess's hymen layer. This is very understandable. They don’t want their daughter to ❤❤❤❤ and ❥❥❥❥ and ♡♡♡♡ everynight and ended up with several kids, thus making it hard for her to focus on her studies. Pretty acceptable reason right?

So how do you reason with such parents?

It’s easy. Tell them that you promise to wear condoms, 2 condoms at the same time everytime you want to nail their daughter. Problems solved! Yay! If the parent is still stubborn, give them a telephone call and say this:

IF YOU’RE AGAINTS THIS MARRIAGE, I WILL MAKE SURE THAT WE ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED ANYWAYS BUT BECAUSE YOU’RE SUCH A STUBBORN ASSHOLE, I’M GOING TO FUCK YOUR DAUGTER IN HER ASSHOLE AND SEND YOU THE PICTURES! HOW ABOUT THAT?

Of course, you should only use that line during extreme conditions, when all form of negotiation does not work; as the last bullet in the revolver. And I don’t think I should remind you that anal sex is prohibited in islam. You don’t really mean it when you say you’re going to anally rape her daughter, it’s just a fake threat, get it?

This was supposed to be a great threat. There is no father in this would that want to look at a picture of some young, hairy dude having anal sex with his precious princess.

On a second thought, just forget about that line. It will never work. You marry to make family members, not enemies.

Oh man, this is such a fucked up entry. I’m really sorry for the language. I really should be focusing on finding a job right now. Forget what I said. I promise to be more sensitive.

p/s:cock blocker: A person (male or female) who intentionally or unintentionally disrupts (block) a guy from getting some punani.

strangest dream

--- journal entry for march 28th 2008 ---

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt I was in my hometown, in pasir mas and I was walking to the local madrasah to pray margrib. As the madrasah become closer and closer, I felt my feet being heavier and heavier. I tried to walk faster because I want to be able to pray in the front saf but my legs become heavier and heavier. I tried to run and I tried so hard, it’s so excruciatingly exhausting. Then I puked out of pain and muscle exhaustion. It was so tiring, I was breathing heavily and sweating like I’m doing a 100km marathon in the middle of the sahara desert. Finally, I arrived at the madrasah, and my exhausted legs couldn’t hold me anymore so I fell on the steps; I was so close; so I crawl into the madrasah; my hands were shaking out of exhaustion. Other people just look at me and keep walking into the madrasah.

Then my emotions take a sharp turn from feeling tormented by exhaustion, to feeling joy and happiness of my success. I made it. I made it on time. I was so happy. I looked up and I could see everybody else in the madrasah were smiling. They were smiling at me. I was so relieved, and happy. My shoulder blades felt lighter.

Then, without any explanation, my chest felt like it was filled with thick black smoke; it was very uncomfortable. My head felt heavy, my chest is about to explode. Then I cried.

I cried. I cried. I cried.

My heart is breaking. So I cried. The pain is not in my leg muscle, but deep inside my heart. So I cried. I bit my lips and grind my teeth so hard because I was crying. I cried so hard, it’s difficult to breathe. I lost control of my own emotions.

I could feel that each drop of tear brings along with them an ounce of the negative energy that was overwhelming me from the inside of my chest, flowing through my sore throat and out of my eyes. My chest felt lighter as I continue to cry.

Then, I woke up. My eyes felt very warm. Real tears are running down my cheek. I was crying in my dream; and I’m crying in real life. I don’t know that the human tear is as warm as this. I tried to stop crying because I got no reason to cry; but I just couldn’t stop. It’s very confusing, and I started to freak out. I was crying more than I was crying in my dream.

In the middle of this confusion and flow of warm tears, I thought to myself: “Holy Shit. I am crying! This is fucking amazing!”. The last time I cried was when I was 13 years old, inside the school madrasah; so it has been a long, long time. That was ten years ago.

This is such a rare occasion, so I took my camera and started to take pictures of me crying. Tears were dropping onto my lap, but I felt nothing now. No sadness, no pain, no joy, nothing. It seems like I have drained my emotions through gallons of tears. I just pushed the shutter button several times until I stopped crying.

I was able to took 18 pictures until I stopped crying; but only 3 of those shots were of me crying. The rest of the pictures are useless because my hands were so shaky, I kept capturing the ceiling and the back wall. Out of the 3, only one picture has perfect focus; the other 2 were too blurry that it’s hard to notice the tears running down my cheek.

All this crying is robbing me of my energy. So I decided to get back to sleep. Plus, maybe I could continue my dream and find out exactly why I cried. I took a long piss and went back to bed. It’s so cold that morning that my warm piss turned into steam. It smelled pretty bad.

Why am I sharing this with you?  You might ask. To tell you the truth, I don’t really know. Maybe because I thought that it would be cool. Or maybe I’m just concerned. What if this dream, my tears, has some meaning? A message for me; a warning about something. A reminder. I will never know the answers to these questions.

Or maybe I do.

Fuck it. I don’t believe in that bullshit. If dreams have even an ounce of relevance to real life, I’d be the luckiest human being among men with a healthy dick. I tried to console myself by saying that; I'm trying to push away the negativity surrounding my consciousness. I was supposed to be strong.

Mimpi tu mainan setan.

p/s: I don’t really remember what I dreamt about when I went back to sleep. It’s just some random wet dream, nothing special.

PINDAH RUMAH !!! AGAIN !!!

Moving out. Changing residence. What a pain in the ass.

I moved out from the akita university’s foreign student dormitory on the 25th of march and it took me so much time to clean up the mess I made during my 1 year stay at the dormitory; and it took more time to set up my new place and put my stuff together and eventually configure everything out so that I could start living in the new apartment.

It took me one week for everything to be set up correctly. I just got internet yesterday, and finally figured out how to set up my HDTV’s antenna to receive digital broadcasting correctly. I got all my stuff into the right place and finally could start living like a normal human being again.

With helping other people move out and trying to clean my own mess, it has been a very busy week, and I hope this new home of mine does not have any voodoo shit or any bad luck lingering between the thin main door and the kitchen sink. I hope the time that I am going to spent inside this new home is for the better purpose; none evil nor sick.

I hope this new home would be a great place as my new base of operations, and I pray everything is going to be OK. Next semester, I am going to have so much fun, I’ll forgot to zip my pants everytime I took a crap in the nearest konbini’s toilet.

At last, I could continue blogging again! All hail the internetszzz!

while taopix goes into his 5 minute hiding, let me write about something

僕にとってブログというのは、自分の意見をコミカルに皮肉的で伝える場所であり、大変珍しい空間であります。当時の気持ちの鏡、考え方の成長の記録帳、思い出のアルバム；一般公開の日記です。もし僕のWRITING STYLEで心に傷つけられるような内容があれは、心の底から誤ります。全くそのつもりはありません。インターネットがくれた表現の自由の権利（FREEDOM OF SPEECH）を悪用する考えなどは絶対にございません。

検閲制度が厳しいマレーシアのマスコミと違って、自分のブログでは本当の書きたいことを書ける唯一のスペースだと思います。良くとも悪くとも、これは僕の一般の市民としての権利だと思います。ずっと僕を支えてくれたマレーシア政府を悪く言おうが、良く言おうがは、それは悪意で書いているわけではないことをご理解頂きたい。悪いところと良いところを短く小さい指で指しています。

怒りをぶつかり合って、心の底に隠れている意見を吐き出して、ストレートで素直に書き続けたい気持ちは譲れないでいます。

僕の若い血に流れてる怒り、大学生の大人気なさ、バカらしい言葉の表現の使い方など。この組み合わせによって一部の方々には見苦しい内容になっているが、「DARK LITERATURE」としてご覧頂きたい。

「POLITICAL SCIENCE」を学んだこともない僕みたいな人間の意見の重みも意識しながら、広い心でこのブログをご覧になって頂ければ、何より幸いです。

学生時代最後の年に素敵な思い出作りに頑張りたいと思っておりますので、どうぞ宜しくお願い申しあげます。

snowboarding is pain

I woke up this morning feeling excruciating pain all over my body. Each time I made a simple movement, it hurts. Every time I tried to lift up my arms, it hurts. A small lump of pain appeared of the left side of my throat and my shoulders are stiff as a board.

But I’m not going to talk about today. I’m going to talk about what I did yesterday.

Yesterday, I went snowboarding with pojik and zarul. The last time I snowboard is one year ago, so I have to be mentally prepared to fall a lot because I know I’m not going to remember what I have learnt before about snowboarding during my previous attempts at it. And fall, I did. A lot. And I guess although my mental side is ready, the physical side of me is not.

I snowboard like only 2-3 times a year so there is no way that I’m going to be good at it.

I sucked! Of course the main reason of this is because I don’t snowboard that much to obtain the required skills to be called ‘good at it’, but until now, I didn’t realize that I was THIS bad. If my memories were clear as the blue sky at the Juenese Ski Park yesterday, I thought I didn’t suck. Far from good of course, but definitely not on the level of suck; that was my previous assumption about my own snowboarding skills. Oh how wrong I was.

Getting your body slammed several times to the ground at high speed is painful enough, but nothing can be compared to when getting your dick squeezed between you body and a slump of hard snow, at high speed with full momentum from the fall.

I was so unfortunate yesterday. I was speeding on a steep slope. Feeling the cold breeze at this speed is fun and awesome! Then after realizing that if I don’t slow down, I’m going to lose control and hit a deer or something, I tried to do a cool, fast break; like the pros do it on tv. I forgot. I still suck at the sport. Lost balance and I got my body slammed to the ground very hard. And by some divine magic, during those crucial milliseconds of my mishap, I have succeeded to get my dick placed right on top of a slump of hard snow; and I let the momentum and speed of my body to slam my poor wang. Or shlong. Or weiner. Or pecker. Or knob. Or rod. Or shaft. Or phallus. Let’s just called it a male genitalia ok?

I must say. It was fucking painful. Damn!

I want to put my hand into my pants to make sure that everything is attached but I can’t really move because it was painful. So I just sit there, rubbing my little brother from the outside of my pants. I looked up and there comes a girl skiing down, staring at a foreigner who was rubbing his crotch like crazy. No matter how much you stare, you won’t understand the pain o little girl!

Then a sudden fear comes into play. What if it was squashed during impact? What if it was bleeding? I don’t want to have to say to my future wife this: before I ask to marry you, I have a secret to tell --> my dick is squashed and looks like a flatten banana balloon because I slammed it onto a slump of hard snow.

So I have to check whether the smaller (not the best word to describe it) part of me is functional and 100% OK. During these times of emergency, I wish I had a catalogue of women’s lingerie with pretty models in it to help me. Unfortunately, I don’t have those so I have to use my imagination. I used my extraordinary imagination to visualize all sorts of things that could turn that little guy into HULK, but all was in vain.

I was really freaking out; and then I remembered the time when I was just 8 years old at school. We had an English class in the library and the teacher (a pretty chinese-kelantanese young lady) told us to draw some pictures of animals. After giving her orders, we started our assignments on the floor while the teacher returns to the observing desk. I was sitting right in front of the teacher’s desk and to my horror, or joy, the pretty teacher sits on her chair with her legs opened, not knowing that the whole class could see her crotch clearly. To top it off, she’s not wearing anything underneath those silky white skirts so I could see clearly her unshaven secondary women lips(it's not a short skirt really, just on the knee line). I called my friend and ask him what the hell am I looking at, but he just told me to shut up so I continued to draw, while being very confused. At that time, I thought she had a horrible accident during circumcision, and I was pretty shaken by that thought. Damn, I should have looked a little bit longer because it would take years and years more before I get to see that again at this close range. Shaven.

After that brief moment of my fabulous history being brought back into my world of imagination, at last I got confirmation that the little guy is beginning to get angry and could turn into a full, bigger and harder than a rock HULK the green beast. I was so relieved. So after knowing that my banana and his two coconuts are okay, I continue snowboarding until its 3 p.m.

Before leaving, I had a shrimp burger and the sweet thing about this is that when I bought the coupons, I put 500 yen into the machine and it gave me back 710 yen! I’m so lucky. Then we brave the cold waters to take wudhu and performed solat in the changing room.

On the way back home, the three of us made some pretty weird conversations and had vowed to not speak the contents of the conversations to anyone else, so it was kinda cool. Then we hit the local sushi restaurant, and I ate like 5 plates only because I was just too tired to eat more.

Got back home, and went to sleep. Then I wake up this morning feeling like a train wreck. Then I did the laundry and watched appleseed ex machine; which is awesome. Then, because I have nothing else to do, I thought it would be fun to write about what I did yesterday, so here I am finishing my thoughts about that. Until next time....

*p/s: by reading today’s post, now you know that my childhood experience kinda affected my current state of mind a little bit. Might be funny, but not a pretty thang!

malam ni nak masak apa?

malam ni nak masak apa aa?

mee kari?

pakai periuk tinggi kaler pink tu. kena basuh dulu. ada kerak kaler hitam.

brapa hari punya kerak daa...

letak minyak. satu sudu dah cukup kot. letak bawang besar. bawang putih pon letak gak la, takut bawang besar rasa lonely.

hiris daging halus2. mcam sashimi. pastu masuk periuk.

pastu masuk apa aa? masuk pati daging pon ok. tapi dah expired 6 bulan.... takpe. perut aku tough. masuk aje!

pastu buat apa aa? masuk potato kot. eh relax dulu. masuk serbuk kari la. pastu tambah air. pastu letak sos cili sket. ajinomoto skali. pastu garam. baru bole masuk potato. potato plak belah empat, kasi tinggal kulit dia sket2.

eh.... sayur bole masuk ke haaa? eh aku mana penah beli sayur, lupa plak. ala, letak aje tablet multivitamin, abis crita.

tinggal dalam 30 minit. pastu siap la yahoo!

pastu bukak mee kuning, basuh2 sket, bole terus makan! uish senang aje resepi nih! skang jugak pegi unfroze daging! lapar nya!

eating dried squid

i'm chewing on dried squid as i'm writing this, trying to prepare myself to get used to school because the 4-day holiday is over and tomorrow is school as usual. tomorrow i have to get up early again, which sucks because it's freezing cold out there and i don't like waking up with a freezing set of balls.

damn these dried squid is really good tsumami mono (snacks). i can chem on them all night long.

starting from tomorrow, i got myself lots of things to do, chores to be completed and desires to be denied. desire to be lazy. desire to sleep 12 hours a day. desire to be a useless human being on this deteriorating face of the earth. yada yada yada. i watched the al gore film, 'inconvenient truth' and that film really makes me think: damn, our kids're fucked! there's another eco-documentary film spearheaded by another celebrity, leonardo dicaprio entitled '11th Hour', and that one too is going to make you want to do something to save our environment.

i just think we're doomed. nothing can save us now! we are fucked because of our gluttonous ways of doing things.

save up some money. we're going to mars.