thesis writing and old japanese nurses

At last, my professor is satisfied with the results of the latest experimental addition to my research material, and finally approved of me to go ahead and finalize all the experiment data accumulated, so that I could wrap my mind around my thesis and start writing it.

At last, I didn’t have to go through those repetitively tedious experiments anymore, and focus more on what is important; that is critical thinking and constructed assumption through proven data.

At last, I could start harvesting fruits from my efforts.

I know I’m going to be busier the next 11 days, but this is not a time to whine.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Anyways, yesterday I went to Nakatsu Health Clinic to go through a required medical check up that my (future) company asked all their 新人社員 (new employees) to go through.

I arrived at the clinic 15 minutes earlier than my appointment, and I went straight to the 受付カウンター (reception counter).

“ Ah, Muhamado Taufikku Ari San, we have been expecting you. Now take this cup and piss in it, please…”

I hate urine test, but I got no other choice.

The urine cup they gave me is actually quite interesting though, because at the bottom of the cup, it had blue marks, like a bull’s-eye, so that the pisser could target his piss into the cup correctly.

Anyways, I pissed long and hard that even the big cup couldn’t hold all of my piss together, and some of it got spilled and the cup got messy. I pity the nurse that’s going to take my cup, because it is all wet… and warm.

Sorry :p

Then I went through the usual routines, blood tests, height and weight, hearing and seeing ability, lung capacity, cardio-magna-electric test etc.

Anyways, if you haven’t known already, I have a weird fetish for Japanese nurses; and I can’t tell you how excited I am to meet real life nurses.

But through yesterday’s experience, I have found something else about my fetish for Japanese nurses; it only applies to ‘young and pretty’ nurses only.

The nurses in the clinic are mostly in their late 30s or 40s, and I didn’t felt the same excitement that I have with nurses in their 20s.

Anyways, I don’t know whether I’m exaggerating the situation or not, but I think this one old nurse (maybe in her late 40s) who is taking care of me through out the whole process, tries her every chance to touch me.

I am dead serious.

Like when I need to take off my clothes for the cardiovascular routine, she tries to do it for me, kinda in a forceful way. I was like “hey I can take my clothes off by myself!” but she insisted to do it.

And as I lie half-naked on the bed exposed to the dangerous eyes and wrinkly hands of the old Japanese nurse, she keeps tapping my chest, stomach, arms and legs; saying that she is trying to find the right ‘spot’ to stick the sensors.

I know I might be exaggerating this, but I seriously think that the touching is overly done, because I actually felt uncomfortable.

Then when I went to see the doctor to check my lungs, once again she lifts up my shirt, like I can’t do it by myself!

Well, of course, if the nurse is a pretty young nurse with an innocent smile, I won’t mind the excessive touching, at all. In fact, I would even pay her to touch my other body-parts… but this is an old lady with a make-up like a geisha that I’m referring to here.

Anyways, these kinds of traumatic experiences could have a dire effect on one's emotional stability, as being proven by studies performed on those sexually abused in the past. So to prevent such horrible acts of inhumanity to ever be forced upon my helpless body (and mind) ever again, next time I'm getting a medical check-up, I will make it my utmost priority to make sure that the clinic that I chose to have the medical check-up routine, would have an ample supply of young, pretty and hot nurses.

I’m a sensitive person.

:)

NURSE GRAVURE 18YRS AND UP ONLY

arrested by the POLICE

-pengalaman di tahan polis jepun-

Don’t know why I forgot to write about this. Anyways, I mentioned about this when I commented on one of saifulislam.com’s interesting articles, and someone asked me to tell about this story in detail, so here I am in the middle of the night in front of the computer.

Early summer of 2003, and it had only been 3 months since I first came to Japan. I was staying at Rikko Kaikan (Rikko Hall, for foreign students) in Nerima, Tokyo; and on one hot summer weekend, I went to the nearest video rental shop to return some VHS and DVDs that I had rented earlier.

I like to clarify things that don’t need any clarifying in the first place so here goes. The VHS tapes and DVDs that I rented are in no way pornographic in nature. They’re just some old Hollywood action movies and Japanese horror films. There might be some slight showing of an actress’s bare breasts, or some lame sex scenes, but that don’t count as porno.

I have a principle to NEVER use the scholarship money, originating from tax paid by honest-working Malaysian citizens, for anything that has to do with satisfying a men’s sexual gratification. I’ve been very successful in my righteous struggle to sustain this principle from being blotted with erroneous , and I must say that I am almost proud that I have been able to do this, with all the perverseness and sexual fantasy glorified in the Japanese pop culture that I’m living in right now.

Wait a minute, there is one time that I accidentally paid 1000yen for an all-u-can-see adult paid channel in a hotel in Osaka… but that was an accident. I don’t want to let waste the hard-earned money of my people, so I forced myself to watch, even though deep in my rose-smelling heart, I don’t want to.

But this experience has taught me one valuable thing: even someone like me would end up bored and fell asleep when exposed to Japanese porn for several hours.

Anyways, that was a long introduction. Let’s get on with the main story.

I went inside the video shop, returned my rentals, told myself to lose interest in what the 18 years old section had to offer, and went back to my bicycle parked outside. As I was helping myself to put my manly-shaped ass on the bicycle saddle, one young Japanese policeman tapped my shoulder. He wanted attention.

Then he started to ask me questions that I don’t quite understand. Bear in mind that my Japanese language skill at that time is piss poor, and I’m really confused. Then he used hand and body gestures. He pointed at the bikes’ broken lock, made a ‘hammering’ movement, and then put his fists together, then breaks them away. He was asking me whether I’m the one who broke the lock.

The situation was not so good for me. He then asked me to follow him to the nearest Koban (police box), while keeping a firm grasp on my arm.

“I’ve spent the last 17 years of my life in Malaysia, and I’ve never been arrested by the police. It only took me 3 months to achieve that in Japan.”

At the Koban, they asked for my alien card, student ID etc, and they were surprisingly polite in doing it. I thought I’m getting the ‘penampar jepun’ first before being asked any questions.

Then they explained to me that the bicycle that I used was reported stolen 3 years ago. That is the first time that I know about 防犯登録 (BouhanTouroku – Registration for Crime Prevention), a system in which an owner of a bicycle should comply to by buying a license and register their bicycle to the police, so that when the bicycle should be reported stolen, it makes it easier for the police to detect the reported bicycle. And Japanese cops are real hard-workers because they really did try to search for those stolen bicycles by looking at the registered license number.

Some called it the ‘bicycle license’.

Shit. I’m in deep shit.

But I tried to keep my calm, because I know I’m clean. The bicycle is not mine. I heard from a friend that he heard his friend talking about hearing a senior of ours telling that the bike belonged to a friend of another senior from another batch; and he left the bike at the Rikko Kaikan (the student hall where we stayed) for the use of us juniors.

I tried to tell this to the policemen at the Koban, but I cannot construct the proper Japanese grammar because my Japanese sucked big time. English was useless because he cannot speak English at all. Probably, the only English words that he knows are of the utmost absurd ones. Like “Fuck you Yankee remember Pearl Harbor” or “I’ll pay you double if you love me long, long time.”

I knew how important it is for me to clear this misunderstanding, and dig myself out of this shit-hole that I’m dragged into. They told me to wait for the police car to come and pick me. They’re sending me to the Nerima City Central Police Station.

The back seat of a Japanese police car is very comfortable. At this point, strangely I don’t felt scared anymore. Maybe it’s because I’m too overconfident that I’m innocent. Or maybe I’m just plain dumb.

I took out my cellphone and activated the camera. As I was thinking about posing for pictures inside the police car with peace signs, the police driver looked at me in the back mirror, his face not so happy.

「ピースサインをポーズする場合じゃねぇだろう！！！」
[It’s not a situation where you do peace signs!!!]

Lesson to everyone: when the police is driving you to the central police station for further questioning, don’t be so relaxed. You might piss them off.

There were 3 police officers in suits waiting in front of the Nerima Prefecture Central Police Station. Without further a due, I was brought to the questioning room on the first floor, and upon entering the room, one of the officers said to his colleagues:

“Wait a minute; he’s still 18 years old!”

At that time, I’m still 18 years old, and according to Japanese law, I’m still a minor.

“We’re going to the juvenile department”

They said some other stuff, but I don’t understand most of it. Maybe they were telling me my rights of something; as I was being brought to the 3rd floor, into the juvenile department.

The juvenile department is kinda different. It looks no different than an office space, except they got questioning rooms.

One medium sized table and two chairs were put facing each other at the center of the dark questioning room. I was told to wait on the chair, and there were 2 police officers in the room.

About 5 minutes later, another 6 police officers, all in plain clothes, entered the room. Damn, Nerima Prefecture must be so damn peaceful, these police man had nothing else to do but to listen to his colleagues questioning me.

Then they started to question me.

“So, what is your favourite Japanese food?”
“How long does it take to come to Japan from Malaysia by airplane?”
“Some other casual questions that was supposed to make me relax”

I was a child at that time, there were 8 japanese police officers in the small room that I’m in, and all of them are asking me these questions that has no connection with the crime that I’m being suspected of committing; I would be lying if I say that I’m not a little bit nervous.

I only managed to understand only a portion of what they’re saying because my Japanese language capability is comparable to the capabilities of Pak Lah of sustaining a firm political stability.

Anyways, those Japanese policemen are too nice, it’s disappointing actually. I thought they’re going to grind me hard until I pissed in my pants and begged for their mercy.

No, those fuckers just asked me which is hotter, Malaysia or Japan.

I asked for the right to make a phone call, and then I rang Tanaka-san, the person in charged of the Rikko Kaikan. I told him that these bored Japanese policeman are just trying to find a way to make them look like they’re doing their job when in reality, they’re just passing time.

“I don’t know what they’re saying to me, I’m innocent, and I want to get out! Do something!”

Then I repeatedly explained to the people at the police station that I was innocent. I don’t know it was a freaking stolen bike! I even tried to explain it in English, and of course it’s more useless.

Then one fat policeman entered the room, and say he’s taking me to the records room. I don’t know the procedures, but the fat policeman kept grabbing my ass while he was transporting me to the records room. It’s fucking weird.

In the records room, they took my fingerprints, weight, height etc. Shit I’m in the Japanese police records! Then they made me hold this piece of plate in front of my chest while they took pictures of me, you know, like they do it in the police movies. It was kinda awesome and scary.

I’m a gangster in Japan, bitches!

Anyways, lucky for me, Tanaka-san, the Rikko Kaikan owner, was connected with the police, and I was let go scott-free. I don’t know how it went down, but he called the police station and kinda bailed me out, and I was not charged with any crime. Probably the police believed my story about me being innocent.

When it was all over, one detective told me that he’s heading out for a case, and he said he don’t mind to drive me to Rikko Kaikan because it was on the way to where he was going to.

He’s so fucking cool.

But I asked him to drop me off at the nearest fish market because I’m cooking fish curry for 5 people that evening.

being a hooker is something that Sufiah Yusof loves

..

a math-prodigy, a child genius.

Sufiah Yusof (now known as Shilpa Lee), once the pride of her Malaysian mother and Pakistani father, brags about her high-paying job as a hooker in this shocking interview.

This is probably a very old news already, but I just knew about this; and I am shocked to hear how fucked-up she has become to even went on to say that having bad impression about prostitution is… out dated!

“I’ve had the best sex working in this job”
“I got my needs fulfilled through my work”

She maybe a math genius, but she knows nothing about how to choose a good career that won’t get you sexually-transmitted-diseases.

mirror needed to help with reality-check

イラっときたから、書くしかないです。

ネットで知り合った、あるマレーシアの女子大生とチャットしたとき、このような会話があった：

「私が最近気になる男の子はすごくハンサムで、本当に格好いい！点数でいえば、８５点だね！」

「あ。。。そう？よく人に点数を付けるね。じゃ、彼が８５点なら、お前は自分のこと、何点？」

「えっと。。。７５点だね！」

うわ！気持ち悪っ！

自分のことがブスだと気づいていないんだ。。。。

俺は大人の態度をとるつもりで、「７５点ってお前には高すぎるよ！」とかは言わなかったけど、ただ、「これはおもろい」と思っても仕方がない。

「じゃ、俺は何点？」と、流れに乗って軽く聞いてみた。

「んんっと。。。４５点だね！」

４。。。４５点？

彼女は冗談のつもりで言っていなかった。マジで俺の外見を評価した。

俺は自分が低い点数で評価されたことにまったく気にしない。

ただし

「私７５点！」というブスに「あんた４５点だよ」と言われたくない。

なぜなら

もし俺が女装して、化粧したら、

絶対俺の方が可愛い！

正直、それほどブスだから

＊　＊　＊　＊　＊

しかし、俺ってひどい人間だね。。。

「自分のこと、どんだけいいと思ってるんだ！？」と思われても、かまわない。

でも、俺は常に相手の気持ちを考えながら、傷つかないように接しているつもり。

だから、このように、あいつの分からない言語でこのポストを書いた。

あいつ日本語読めないから、大丈夫だと思う。

俺はただ、

腹の底から、この納得のいかない気持ちを吐き出して

すっきりしたいだけ。

それだけです。

それから、このポストを読んで、俺と共感を感じる人はいるだろう？

あなたは「他人の事を言う前に、自分の事を鏡で見なさい！」と思ったこと、ありますか？

注意：でも、もし彼女がGOOGLE翻訳機能を利用して、このポストを読んだら、まずい！っかもしれない！そうならないように、願いを込めて、今回のポストを終わりにさせて頂きます。

di raba sebelum solat jumaat

tengok jam. sudah pukul 12:10 tengah hari.

solat jumaat start pukul 12:20. jalan cepat sket ah, biar sampai surau awal.

aku berjalan pantas, mata lurus ke depan.

aku tak nampak awek2 berskirt mini kiri kanan.

aku tak nampak paha2 mereka yg putih melepak.

lagi2 dek pantulan cahaya matahari.

aku dalam perjalanan nak menunaikan solat.

aku berjalan pantas, mata lurus ke depan.

[ ali ! ali ! ]

hmm? sapa yg panggil tu?

alamak!

awek yg suka sentuh2 tu datang melambai plak!

aku tak nak terbatal air sembahyang plak.

so aku jalan pantas, mata lurus ke depan.

* * * * * * * * *

tapi aku sebenarnya jalan lambat, mata plak terus pergi ke arah suara yg memanggil nama aku.

baju style british high school punya sweater. mini skirt.

kalo terbatal wuduk, kena buka kasut, buka stokin, baru bole ambik wuduk balik.

tidak!

kali ni aku takkan benar kan dia nih raba aku!

* * * * * * * * *

baru aje 10 saat aku start bercakap, dia dah nak raba siku aku.

aku dengan pantas bertindak mengangkat siku.

biar dia raba tulang rusuk aku yg berlapik dengan baju daripada sentuh siku aku yg bogel.

tapi 'awek suka meraba' nih macam kucing.

lagi dia tak dapat, makin aktif dia nak tangkap.

[[ aku rasa, kalo ada sapa2 yg bagi dia hadiah ipod touch.

mau dia gelak sampai mati sebab gembira gila. ]]

aku bersilat demi mempertahankan wuduk.

aku serious. gilak serious. sebab aku tak nak bukak stokin.

* * * * * * * * *

dalam kesengitan pertarungan yg hangat itu.

mcam mana ntah.

aku bole terlutut dia punya ibu jari sebelah kanan.

macam jaguh tomoi siam, aku bagi lutut sama itu ibu jari.

krak!

rangup bunyi pertembungan itu.

tapi air muka 'awek suka meraba' tu tak rangup langsung.

sakit sangat ke kena lutut ngan aku?

* * * * * * * * *

akhirnya aku berjaya mempertahankan wuduk.

tak payah buka stokin, bole terus solat.

tapi aku rasa.

lepas ni awek tu tak akan datang raba aku lagi.

cet.

* * * * * * * * *

aku tak kesah pon kena raba.

tapi jangan la time aku nak gi solat!

tapi aku rasa mcam tak adil la.

asal pompoan bole raba laki.

tapi laki tak leh raba pompoan?

i demand gender equality !!!

malaysian school uniform for girls: too transparent, too sexy?

There has been quite a buzz when a group of muslim students (National Islamic Students Association of Malaysia) came up with an idea that the current school uniform for Malaysian girls, are just too transparent, too sexy.

News link here, and here.

Hmmm... I just don't see what the fuzz is all about. Religious groups have been trying to connect the way women dresses with rape, from as long as I could remember. Some famous religious figure have also been quoted to say that the women who dresses sexy deserves to be raped. I don't think defending the rapist would be Islamic ... or is it, now?

I don’t want to talk about whether I agree or not.

But I remember this one time, when I was in form 2 (or maybe 3), it was raining, the thunder-storm is coming and I was waiting for the bus when a group of girls from a nearby religious all-girls school come running towards the bus stand. They’re all wet and drippy.

I don’t mean to look but I remember this one scene in a malay movie starring ogy ahmad daud, where she was wet in her school uniform and then she was pretty sexy and all… I don’t remember the scene quite well but I was like… wait a minute… I think I should just stop here and leave the rest to your imagination.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this.

What was is it again? O man, I just lost it. I need some rest.

p/s: the picture above has nothing to do with the post. it's just some random junk from 2chan. the picture below might be more relevant:

the adventure of the job hunter continues

After failing the Alpine interview, I know that I don’t have much time to be disappointed and all; I have to move on to the next step!

So without wasting time, I went to K. Sensei once again to ask for his recommendation to my next target: Daihatsu Motors located in Osaka. I already promised Tsubasa to try for a Daihatsu interview IF I flunked Alpine.

He immediately called the human resource department of the company, but I’m already out of luck: they have closed the opening because they have already filled up all the available positions for (future) fresh graduates.

So I kinda freaked out for a second, and then move on to do research on other available companies. Two went straight into my line of sights: Isuzu and TCM. Isuzu is a bus, jeep, big-ass-vehicles maker while TCM makes industrial vehicles.

Out of the two, I decided to go with TCM because they don’t have pre-exams in their interview process, unlike Isuzu. The other reason is because I think making industrial vehicles like HUGE tractors are way cooler than making buses.

I’m out of luck again. By the telephone call that K. Sensei made, they’re really skeptical about taking in a foreigner. Of course they don’t say that they don’t want foreigners, but you can just feel the vibe of not-welcome-ness to gaijins. After exchanging opinions with K. Sensei, both of us have agreed that TCM is not for me. I better find other Japanese companies that are more gaijin friendly.

So I went home with a bunch of lists of Japanese companies that has a more open policy to foreign workers. Man, it’s really hard to choose. Went home, and I got a FedEx document from Malaysia. I never got a FedEx before. Opened the documents and I was kinda surprised: it’s from P*r*d*a, the Daihatsu-backed Ma*a*sian car maker! And I was offered a job as an engineer!

I forgot. I still got Konica-Minolta and P*r*d*a as backup!

So I took a deep breath, and look at the lists more carefully. Then I have decided to try this plastic parts maker located in Kanagawa. The pay was quite good (210000yen), they have a manufacturing plant in Malaysia, and they’re very open to foreigners!

So the next day, I went to K. Sensei again, and asked him to write a recommendation letter. I posted all the necessary documents to the company (that I’m not going to say its name here, for a lot of reasons) yesterday, and all I gotta to do now is wait for an answer, and practice the SPI tests and do some math exercises.
I’m also busy doing the 外国文献 (gaikokubunken – foreign thesis?), translating English journal/thesis made by foreign researchers (I got the thesis from a team of researchers from Swiss) to Japanese. The original English thesis is already extremely hard to understand, how in the world would I be able to translate such mind-numbing journals into perfect Japanese?

Thank God I have the Japanese-English digital dictionary/translator Fujitsu’s ATLAS; the software really helped me a LOT. I only wished that the Swiss team would write their thesis using more grammatically correct English. Well, they’re not native English speakers, so I guess it cannot be helped.

I’m scheduled to present the translated thesis next week (2nd July). I’ve already finished translating; right now I’m doing the powerpoint slides and the presentation’s text-aide. I also have presentation practices to prepare. But most of all, I have to read the thesis over and over and over again, because I still don’t understand what kind of experiments the Swiss team has done and what are the benefits of their boring research. Not a slightest fucking idea. Nanoscale Friction Varied by Isotopic Shifting of Surface Vibrational Frequencies. What the fuck is that?

Changing topic.

Today I ate the 390yen shake bento from grandmart, again; accompanied with the new okinawa vitamin water drink and the oh so rich and creamy glico's torori cream pudding. awesome.
footnote:

1) Alpine does not involve in any production of paper. Alpine makes audio-visual electronics for consumer cars, and also GPS-based navigational system. So, Syazi, Alpine nih bukan nya kilang buat kertas. Mahu pun kilang buat jagung bakar. Ataupon air soya.

2) Gaijin (外人) is an abbreviation of gaikokujin (外国人) which means foreigner; or an outsider. In recent times, the word has become regarded by some as exclusionary or derogatory and thus offensive; most japanese tv broadcasters avoided using this word and prompt to use the full 'gaikokujin' phrase instead. Common Japanese people though, would use this word widely to refer to foreigners, but only behind their backs. So if you're not Japanese and a Japanese is calling you a 'gaijin', that means he/she have no respect for you and is verbally assaulting your sorry gaijin ass.

SPI in Sendai

Yesterday I took a 3 hours bus ride to 仙台 (Sendai) to take this SPI test as a part of a job interview with the company I mentioned on the last part of my post previously. SPI stands for Synthetic Personality Inventory; and it was constructed to evaluate the intellectual capability and the personality of the person taking the test.

The personality test was nothing because it's just a simple personality test. The problem is with the intellectual capability test.

The intellectual capability tests were designed to cover different aspects of human intellectuality. They got the usual IQ & Logic test, Applied Mathematics and Linguistic Skills.

The IQ & Logic and the Applied Mathematics portion of the intellectual capability test is quite hard; when you were given so little time to solve too many difficult problems, it went from difficult to ridiculous. The timer that warns you on how many milliseconds you have to answer the questions also adds to the effect of hammering a big pressure on my little brain. Every question has a timer. It’s pretty daunting.

I don’t think that I got even half of the answers right. Even if the questions were in Malay or English, I don’t think I’d do better. I would probably be able to read the questions faster, but nothing more than that; the questions really challenge you to think really fast and be accurate in your calculation and problem solving skills.

The Linguistic Skills questions are worse though. Now I agree with my ex-tutor who said that even an average Japanese university student would have a very hard time answering the questions. The kanjis in the questions are not Japanese, they’re Chinese! I just pick the answers randomly; that’s the only thing I could do! I only managed to understand 3-5 questions; the rest is just rubbish and me finding a needle in a sack of grains.

To sum it all up, it was pretty bad. I did poorly.

Then I took the bus home, watch the men’s valley ball match against Japan and Argentina to the end, went to the surau to be late for an usrah, and then zarul took us to the beach with his brand new altezza.

Got home at midnight, and the telly is playing The Choten Hoteru. I decided to go to bed so I brushed my teeth so that they’re clean and pristine, and open the fridge to get milk. I drank the milk without thinking about checking the expiry date, and it was a big mistake. The milk tastes pretty awful, like puke of bad yogurt. The expiry date was 13th of April. That’s bad.

p/s: Japan won against Argentina in a very long and hard match, to qualify to be in the Olympics, after 16 years of failing to do so. It was a pretty awesome game. They really deserved it, they worked so hard. 超感動した！

p.s.: I'll be going to Fukushima tomorrow for the real deal, the final interview for the japanese car audio visual company. Oh man, I hope it will went smooth as silk. I hope I'll get the job. Amin.

msaj career-fair 2008 (T_T)

I meant to post this earlier but laziness and lack of idea to write has resulted in this delay. Whatever. So a couple of weeks ago I went to the jobfair that msaj conducted in Tokyo, and surprisingly, I thought it was well worth the long trip to get there; although it almost drained all of my energy and animalistic sexual desires. Just right after returning home, I booted up my PC and watched a video of yoshizawa akiho in a Japanese subway train on youtube, and I felt nothing. Proof that I’m very tired.

The 6 of us (zarul, bentong, sherrrrr, shazi, tipah and me) started our long journey at 1200 hours in a rented mazda premacy; the car was not small, but I would prefer it to be bigger though. I can’t feel my ass after sitting in there for hours and hours.

Uish, tulis dalam bahasa melayu pon ok gak nih!

Sampai kat Tokyo, terus cari tempat bermalam. Pusing punya pusing, last2 jumpa satu capsule hotel kat asakusa, dekat aje ngan tempat jobfair tu dianjurkan. What’s a capsule hotel, you might ask? Wikipedia it!

Capsule hotel kat Asakusa tuh lebih kurang mcam capsule hotel kat Osaka yg aku penah stay dulu. Cuma kat sini, ada 露天風呂(rotenburo – outdoor hot spring bath). Lokasi plak kat tingkat atas sekali pulak tuh! So sambil mandi hot spring bogel ramai2 ngan customer2 lain, aku bole sempat menikmati keindahan malam asakusa dari tempat tinggi. Mintak2 la takde org ambik gamba daripada jalan raya kat bawah. Feels good to be bare-ass naked, on top of a tall building, overseeing a culturally-rich Japanese town like Asakusa.

Badan pon jadi panas lepas mandi, terus pegi nak tido. Hmm… capsule hotel nih memang la kecik, tapi ok la kalo setakat nak buat tido. Tapi sebab capsule2 nih dia letak padat + rapat2, memang susah gak la nak tido kalo tak tahan bunyi. Mcam situation aku, pakcik sebelah depan capsule aku dengkur kuat gila, pastu siap mengigau apa ntah. Org sebelah aku ni plak tengah layan Japanese AV (brapa yen ntah sejam, lupa) dengar sampai capsule aku. Kalo skill meneka aku hebat, kalo tak silap aku, dia mesti tengah layan Aoi Sora punya video; kali ni dia jadi nurse rajin yg ingin berbakti untuk keselesaan pesakit2 di bawah jagaan nya. I mean, no one mourns like Aoi Sora! That’s why I know! Hmmm….. Tapi sedar tak sedar, aku tertido gak. Bunyi alarm handphone membuka mata di awal pagi.

Bukak mata, rasa malas gila nak mandi. Lagipon sebelum tido semalam dah mandi dah. So aku ambik keputusan untuk sembur deodorant aje. 5 saat. Lebih daripada itu, ketiak bole beku! Pastu pegi siap2 pakai suit sumer. It’s time to go job hunting!

Sampai2 kat lokasi, dapat jumpa ngan memba2 lama. Memba2 time kat skolah bahasa dulu. Gilak ah dah lama gila tak jumpa. 懐かしい。。。 tapi yg paling aku terkejut ialah perubahan mendadak si razmi. Weh slim gila ko skang! Pastu, mentang2 dah slim, sedap2 aje kutuk aku dah jadi bulat ek? Takpe. Nanti aku ganbaru diet! Karu plak stay boroi. Yanti plak... 綺麗になったな！Good to see you guys!

Anyways, masuk2 aje dewan jobfair tuh, kepala pening sekejap. Ada banyak gila booth with too many people. Tak tau aku nak cuba company apa. Pusing punya pusing punya pusing, aku ambik giliran kat perodua. Ramai gila org yg mintak perodua nih. Tunggu lama gila nak sampai giliran aku. Perodua punya interview ni pelik gak. Ada 3 org interviewer. Kebanyakan org kena dalam english, tapi time aku duduk kat situ, aku bole dengar gak kenkadang diaorg cakap melayu. Ada jugak yg kena cakap bahasa jepun. woot berdebar2 gak la. Mana tau time aku, dia suruh cakap melayu, english, japanese selang seli? Woo pening!

tunggu punya tunggu, last2 masuk lunch time! So diaorg suruh org yg tunggu belakang aku pegi makan dulu, tinggal aku ngan paklan aje last. Fuuh. Pastu kena panggil. Hmm... nasib baik interviewer aku nih cool aje. Takde nak pressure2 sangat. Soalan nya bukan nya soalan2 yg berbentuk akademik ke apa ke. Dia cuma tanya kenapa nak masuk perodua, nak kerja bahagian mana (aku cakap quality control ataupon production), pasal life kat jepun etc. It was a pretty controlled and relaxed mood. He asked me a short question, so I gave him a long, detailed answer. At the end of the interview, the interviewer asked me : "So kamu nih memang betul2 berminat la ngan perodua nih? Kita tengok la macam mana ye…"

The interview lasted about 30 minutes when everybody took about 20. I talk too much. Anyways, perut dah berkeroncong so cepat2 aku minta diri pastu pegi ke kaunter ambik makanan. Beratur sekejap pastu sampai la giliran aku. Aku tengok org depan2 aku sumer dapat bento tempura. Oh sedap nya. Tapi sampai2 giliran aku, diaorg cakap bento dah habis, sedangkan aku bole nampak banyak lagi bento tempura yg sama, dalam kotak yg diaorg letak belakang counter tuh. Hmm... pelik gak, asal diaorg stop bagi bento nih?

Mula2 org kat counter tu cakap ada masalah sket. Masalah apa pulak, bagi aje la kan? So tanya punya tanya, baru la aku tau masalah nya. Rupa2 nya bento tempura yg diaorg edarkan selama tuh, ada masuk bahan2 yg diperbuat daripada BABI. Muhahaha nasib baik aku tak makan, tapi nasib malang la kepada yg dah makan. Harap2 diaorg mulakan makan ngan bismillah dan habiskan makan ngan alhamdulillah. Burp.

Aha lupa nak cakap. aku sebenarnya dah janji ngan org msaj untuk rahsiakan perkara nih, tapi aku janji untuk tak cakap kot mulut aje. Aku tak janji yg aku takkan tulis dalam blog nih hehehe so I don't break any promises ok?

Tapi kenapa la msaj bole buat kesilapan besar mcam ni? Sebenarnya msaj dah buat siap2 bento (yg confirm halal) sendiri untuk diedarkan. Tapi silap budget, org yg datang lagi ramai drpd bento yg disediakan. Attendance was unexpectedly high. So dia org menggelabah la nak pegi beli bento tambahan, dan time diaorg pegi beli tu la yg diaorg lalai nak check, ada BABI ke tak. Memang tak patut… so aku minum air C.C. Lemon aje nak alas perut. Pastu pow roti drpd Arip. ありがとう！マジ助かった！

Lepas waktu rehat, aku pegi cuba Konica-Minolta plak. Mula2 kena ambik IQ test. Aduih leceh tul la IQ test. Pastu dlm jam 1430, kena pegi interview. Masuk2 bilik, ada 2 org interviewer tgh interview seorg gadis melayu. Haha. And at the waiting seat, there's another girl sitting with her face down. She looked pretty nervous. She kept rubbing her hands, left and right.

If I were in a vacation right now, I'd sure think of something to help this girl with her nervousness, talk to her, make a dumb joke to make her smile. Unfortunately, I'm having my job interview so I walk silently to sit next to her, thinking and creating stories that I could use during the interview.

Sambil tunggu giliran kena panggil tu, aku fikir la mcam2 jenis idea dan cerita yg bole dipakai time interview nanti. Kenapa aku tertarik ngan camera. Pengetahuan aku pasal teknologi camera. Pasal Konica-Minolta punya introduction to internal lens into the camera world. Macam2 la. Buah fikiran.

Tapi time aku tengah reka2 idea2 nih, aku terdengar interviewer tu cakap kat girl yg tgh kena interview tu: No, you have been mistaken. We don’t make cameras; we make HARD-DISKs!

EEE!!! Company ni buat hard disk ke?! Terus aku menoleh kat girl sebelah aku; tanya dia. She answered with a nervous smile saying yes. Alamak! Idea pasal camera tak bole pakai la kalo mcam nih! Kena fikir idea baru pasal HARD-DISK plak! Dan time tu jugak la dia panggil aku ke depan. Interview bermula.

Interviewer ada dua orang. One Chinese-Malaysian lady on the left and a Japanese men, probably in his 50’s on the right. The lady interviewer looked very bored and tired; then as soon as I took the seat, she looked at me with her sleepy eyes and asked: What is your weakness?

At first, I was thinking about jokingly telling her that my weakness is that I don’t know what my weaknesses is; so that she could wake up and actually hear what I want was saying. Thank God, my reasonings hit my head with a red brick, telling me to be serious; this is not a time to tell your stupid jokes!

As I was answering all these questions, I could see that both of the interviewers are already tired and worned out. Only the lady interviewer is doing the questioning though, the Japanese interviewer just listens. I have to do something to grab their intention and try to be different. Then she asked me if I have a question.

So I asked them: I believe that the era of the traditional hard disks with a spinning physical component is almost over. I believe that the future of digital storage lies in the development of flash based memory or other types of media. Like IBM, they just abandoned their hard disk development to focus on next-generation flash memory technology. So how does Konica-Minolta deal with this change to stay alive in the market? (Well, that is not EXACTLY what I asked, of course, but the meanings are the same, it’s just shorter as I don’t remember it word by word!)

Aku tanya dia, Konica=Minolta ni bole hidup lama ke dengan teknologi hard disk yg ketinggalan nih? Aduih, mulut aku ni memang patut kena cili. Kenapa la bole ter’kutuk’ company tu masa interview plak. Siot tul.

The lady interviewer looked at me like she didn’t understand what I was asking. The Japanese interviewer took a long hmmmmmmm and then started to open his mouth, explaining to me (in Japanese) that the future of hard disks is here to stay, and it’s far superior to any flash memory technology out there.

Adoih, kenapa la aku bole ter’kutuk’ company ni plak. Mulut aku ni memang la, banyak cakap sangat. Pastu time dia tengah bengang gila nak defend company dia punya future, I know I have to nod in agreement with what ever he is saying IF I want to save this interview-gone-bad. Then he stood up and started to draw bar graphs and pie charts, to help with his explanations. Hmm… I think I’ve pissed him off pretty good. I mean, who wouldn’t? When a mere student is dissing your own company, you have to defend it.

As I nod in agreement, I knew I fucked the interview up; why do I have to make the interviewer angry? Then at that point, I don’t care about the interview any more. I just wanna talk about hard disks with the Japanese interviewer. I complained that the hard disk sucks because it could break easily because of its moving parts, the reading speed is slow etc. What ever point that made me annoyed with the current hard disk technology, I brought it up, just to make my point about the failing future of the hard disk even stronger. I don’t care, if I fall down, at least I’d fall down with pride. Or perhaps that was just sheer arrogance and childishness. So we talked and talked. Eventually, the interview ended, 45 minutes, when it took 10 minutes for others.

When I’m finished, there were about 8-10 interviewees waiting at the back; I made them wait because I’ve been using more time than a normal interview would. When I walk out of the interview room, the Japanese interviewer went out also, to light a cigarette. Maybe he’s as tired as I am after our small talk. Then I remember him telling me: すごく良かった。後、日本語で説明出来て、良かった。

Is this guy for real? I just dissed his company, and he’s telling me it was good? This must be a trick or something. I don’t believe him, I’m sure to fail the interview.

One month has passed since that dreadful interview, and I was surprised that I was wrong.

Last week, I got an email from Konica-Minolta: I passed the first interview and were asked to attend the second interview this August! Aku kutuk syarikat tu time interview, dan aku lepas! Memang tak logic langsung. This must be a trick! Perodua punya interview, yg aku rasa ok sket, tak dengar apa2 berita plak.

Anyways, my job hunting is not over yet. Tomorrow, I’m going to Sendai (Miyagi Prefecture) to take SPI and IQ tests, as a part of an interview with this Japanese audio-visual and car navigational system company. Wish me luck, I need it.

friendster profile

What I (previously wrote) On My Friendster Profile
About Me:

(Describe Yourself)
i can't describe myself coz sometimes i don't understand things that i did. some said i'm funny, some said i'm hot-tempered but i always told myself to be natural, to be myself, all the time. i can change from being the most friendly guy to the coldest one in seconds. and i'm trying very hard to practice my english whenever i had the chance 'coz i wanna be good at it 'coz since i first step my foot on japan soil, i noticed my english becoming worse everyday. o one more thing, i hate queers. fucking hate em i wanna kill one. awww relax, i'm just kidding! i don't hate someone just because he thinks fucking some other guy in the ass hole is a probable way to express himself sexually. as long as MY butthole is safe, i have no problem. besides, i strongly believe in opening to different people with different culture and faith, or lack of both. whatever, just remember this: it doesn't mean that i'm a BAD person just 'coz i used the f-word in my profiles. check out my blog on friendsterblog! wait a minute, scratch that. go here instead: www.taopix.blogspot.com

Describe Who You Want to Meet:
kate hudson and ryoko hirosue! i love em!! actually anyone friendly enough! (except gay bastards, of course -- ok, that's just one bad joke! no offence to the butt-humping-lovin people). i would really want to meet back my old pals (where are u all?) SRKSIS Pasir Mas, SMK Dato Ahmad Maher Kota Bharu, MRSM Taiping Perak, Matrik Penang (KMPP) Penang, PPKTJ KL& ISI Tokyo. and i also love making new friend. to have an international friend would also be very cool.

I Think It's Time To Change:
Yes, I know; it's pretty fucked up. I don't know why would I write something like that on my own profile, describing myself. Maybe I thought it was funny? When other people think it's just disgusting and so fucking low.... I think I should change my profile, especially the homophobic nature of the About Me section. Don't get me wrong here, I still like the jokes degrading queers and butt-humpers, but sometimes, too much is too much. I mean, I'm from a very conservative culture, but I felt like I'm just trying too hard to be non-conservative. I'm not a jumpy teenager anymore.

I think, from now on, when I'm writing, I'm going to make sure that mrnicekid is not influencing me in any way; write what I want to write, not what taopix or mrnicekid wants me to write. I think I should be my real self all the time. I always let my guards down and let my other characters do the writing; and from now on, I'll try to reduce the times of that happening. I know it's going to be boring, but I have to have this. I need myself writing as me. Not any other personality. I'll try to make sure that mrnicekid's really, really dead. I'm killing him for good.

Because having multiple personalities, sucks.

Because sometimes, although these characters that I created are only supposed to exist in my literature world, I don't want them to get stronger and eventually appearing in the real world. Rather then letting them stay in my right brain, I'd prefer them dead, for good.

halal sex is better than zina

[WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS VULGAR LANGUAGE AND SOME SERIOUSLY FUCKED-UP CONTENT ESPECIALLY ABOUT SEX; YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED]

Today I’m going to talk about the dilemma faced by some malay muslim couples who is studying overseas while being supported by a sponsorship: they love each other and want to get married but their contract with their sponsors prohibited this. I know this is not a rare case, and it is surely one topic that is interesting to talk about.

I fully understand why these sponsors ruled such agreement on their contracts. They pay money to the students so that they could focus on studying. The sponsors are concerned that if they got married, their focus on studying would plummeted and all they would do is sex sex sex sex sex sexxx xxx xxx every minute of God’s given time; and according to what I read from [The Guide to Violent Children], sex could lead to babies and babies would lead to bigger responsibility that might suffocate the minds of a young couple who are still studying.

Kahwin untuk menjauhi maksiat.

A signed contract cannot be changed, but the problem is: What if the guy cannot bear being patient anymore? What if everytime he catches the sweet smell of her girlfriend’s beautiful skin under those hijab, a sudden rush of blood to his nuclear missile occurs? What if everytime they’re on a date, he can’t help but imagine himself kissing her collar bone and sucking her bubble-gum tongue? He constantly wonders whether she would be aroused by just being sniffed at for 5 minutes while she is naked sitting on his computer chair. What if he cannot control his mini-me anymore when he is with her, especially when she’s licking a lollipop in her right hand and a vanilla ice-cream cone on the other? Yes, my muslim friends, satan is a creative bastard.

My point is that these creative thinking sponsored by satan, although harmless, possesses a great deal of danger of the guy going out of control and finally blowing his load, in and all around her kitty cage. Zina. Adultery.

Of course you could advice the guy to pray more seriously, be more pious and even leave her girlfriend all together; but what if it’s beyond prevention? Clearly it is better for them to get married, and have (protected) sex as much as they wanted. Halal sex is always better than zina. I am totally against the cock-blocking movement.

So finally they decided to get married secretly so that the sponsor doesn’t know. Breaking a contract is a big risk, but getting permission from their parents is another problem.

Most parents would surely be against these marriages; they want their daughters to finish their studies first before allowing one young men to break their precious princess's hymen layer. This is very understandable. They don’t want their daughter to ❤❤❤❤ and ❥❥❥❥ and ♡♡♡♡ everynight and ended up with several kids, thus making it hard for her to focus on her studies. Pretty acceptable reason right?

So how do you reason with such parents?

It’s easy. Tell them that you promise to wear condoms, 2 condoms at the same time everytime you want to nail their daughter. Problems solved! Yay! If the parent is still stubborn, give them a telephone call and say this:

IF YOU’RE AGAINTS THIS MARRIAGE, I WILL MAKE SURE THAT WE ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED ANYWAYS BUT BECAUSE YOU’RE SUCH A STUBBORN ASSHOLE, I’M GOING TO FUCK YOUR DAUGTER IN HER ASSHOLE AND SEND YOU THE PICTURES! HOW ABOUT THAT?

Of course, you should only use that line during extreme conditions, when all form of negotiation does not work; as the last bullet in the revolver. And I don’t think I should remind you that anal sex is prohibited in islam. You don’t really mean it when you say you’re going to anally rape her daughter, it’s just a fake threat, get it?

This was supposed to be a great threat. There is no father in this would that want to look at a picture of some young, hairy dude having anal sex with his precious princess.

On a second thought, just forget about that line. It will never work. You marry to make family members, not enemies.

Oh man, this is such a fucked up entry. I’m really sorry for the language. I really should be focusing on finding a job right now. Forget what I said. I promise to be more sensitive.

p/s:cock blocker: A person (male or female) who intentionally or unintentionally disrupts (block) a guy from getting some punani.

strangest dream

--- journal entry for march 28th 2008 ---

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt I was in my hometown, in pasir mas and I was walking to the local madrasah to pray margrib. As the madrasah become closer and closer, I felt my feet being heavier and heavier. I tried to walk faster because I want to be able to pray in the front saf but my legs become heavier and heavier. I tried to run and I tried so hard, it’s so excruciatingly exhausting. Then I puked out of pain and muscle exhaustion. It was so tiring, I was breathing heavily and sweating like I’m doing a 100km marathon in the middle of the sahara desert. Finally, I arrived at the madrasah, and my exhausted legs couldn’t hold me anymore so I fell on the steps; I was so close; so I crawl into the madrasah; my hands were shaking out of exhaustion. Other people just look at me and keep walking into the madrasah.

Then my emotions take a sharp turn from feeling tormented by exhaustion, to feeling joy and happiness of my success. I made it. I made it on time. I was so happy. I looked up and I could see everybody else in the madrasah were smiling. They were smiling at me. I was so relieved, and happy. My shoulder blades felt lighter.

Then, without any explanation, my chest felt like it was filled with thick black smoke; it was very uncomfortable. My head felt heavy, my chest is about to explode. Then I cried.

I cried. I cried. I cried.

My heart is breaking. So I cried. The pain is not in my leg muscle, but deep inside my heart. So I cried. I bit my lips and grind my teeth so hard because I was crying. I cried so hard, it’s difficult to breathe. I lost control of my own emotions.

I could feel that each drop of tear brings along with them an ounce of the negative energy that was overwhelming me from the inside of my chest, flowing through my sore throat and out of my eyes. My chest felt lighter as I continue to cry.

Then, I woke up. My eyes felt very warm. Real tears are running down my cheek. I was crying in my dream; and I’m crying in real life. I don’t know that the human tear is as warm as this. I tried to stop crying because I got no reason to cry; but I just couldn’t stop. It’s very confusing, and I started to freak out. I was crying more than I was crying in my dream.

In the middle of this confusion and flow of warm tears, I thought to myself: “Holy Shit. I am crying! This is fucking amazing!”. The last time I cried was when I was 13 years old, inside the school madrasah; so it has been a long, long time. That was ten years ago.

This is such a rare occasion, so I took my camera and started to take pictures of me crying. Tears were dropping onto my lap, but I felt nothing now. No sadness, no pain, no joy, nothing. It seems like I have drained my emotions through gallons of tears. I just pushed the shutter button several times until I stopped crying.

I was able to took 18 pictures until I stopped crying; but only 3 of those shots were of me crying. The rest of the pictures are useless because my hands were so shaky, I kept capturing the ceiling and the back wall. Out of the 3, only one picture has perfect focus; the other 2 were too blurry that it’s hard to notice the tears running down my cheek.

All this crying is robbing me of my energy. So I decided to get back to sleep. Plus, maybe I could continue my dream and find out exactly why I cried. I took a long piss and went back to bed. It’s so cold that morning that my warm piss turned into steam. It smelled pretty bad.

Why am I sharing this with you?  You might ask. To tell you the truth, I don’t really know. Maybe because I thought that it would be cool. Or maybe I’m just concerned. What if this dream, my tears, has some meaning? A message for me; a warning about something. A reminder. I will never know the answers to these questions.

Or maybe I do.

Fuck it. I don’t believe in that bullshit. If dreams have even an ounce of relevance to real life, I’d be the luckiest human being among men with a healthy dick. I tried to console myself by saying that; I'm trying to push away the negativity surrounding my consciousness. I was supposed to be strong.

Mimpi tu mainan setan.

p/s: I don’t really remember what I dreamt about when I went back to sleep. It’s just some random wet dream, nothing special.

long johns

hi kids! today i have a fun game to play! click the picture below to enlarge it and try to spot what is so funny about the picture! it's harmless fun, so tell your friends to play too!

about the call

I got several emails and ym messages from friends and strangers asking about ‘the call’ that I mentioned in my shoutbox yesterday. Come to think about it, I really think that it was not something worth mentioning in the first place; not a big deal at all. Some were concerned about me, some were just curious but everyone wants to know what actually happened.

So I got the sense that I need to write this post explaining what ‘the call’ is about. Of course I can’t reveal it all here, because I need to protect myself too. Ok so here it goes.

2 days ago (10^th March), I got a phone call from this place that I don’t want to mention (lets call it KMDJ) about this particular content in my blog. There are several posts in the blog that contained some of the names of the people working in KMDJ. The reason why they want those names to be removed from my blog is because I have used their names to make stupid, cheesy jokes. While invading their privacy, I have unintentionally used these names without their permission; and that is something that I knew were unacceptable but I did it anyways. I’m the bad guy here, what I did was wrong and that is why I have apologized.

Although the caller said that the focus of the call is just about the ‘names’, somehow during the conversation, issues like politics and dirty language came up.

“the staff had read your other blog posts and we don’t want to tell you that we neither support nor are against your language and posts about the government because it is your right to have an opinion, and what use is a blog with strict censorship?”

So folks, they are not threatening me because I use foul language and wrote political posts; they are just kind enough to inform me that the people who is in charge of handling my scholarship is watching and reading what I wrote in my blogs with kind, gentle eyes! Oh how noble and kind of them! Although they have other important things to do, they had sacrificed their precious time just for me! I felt loved! ; )

So from now on, I will try my best not to make a stupid joke about the people who handles my money; and of course I will continue writing like I would normally do.

But I’m just curios, the posts about ‘the names’ are really old ones, dating back to 2005 and 2006; why bring it up now? Just right after my [G Election] post? Wow! What a coincidence, isn’t it?

shazaipic.jpg

は。か。さんへ

許可を取れずに勝手に名前を載せて、お詫びを申し上げたいと思っております。大変ご迷惑とプライバシーの侵害をして、真にすみませんでした。今日の電話で約束したように、注意されたすべてのポストの内容（名前と職場名）を変更しました。

なお、ブログの内容を変更・削除しても、GOOGLEのCACHEにはまだ保存されていて、完全にデータがGOOGLEから削除されるのは何日かかかると思われますので、ご理解下さい。

これから、同じような事を起こさないように頑張ります。短かったお電話でしたが、大変貴重なことを教えて下さいました。ありがとうございました。これから、他人のプライバシーを侵害しないように注意深くブログを書き続けたいと思っております。

TAUFIQ ALI

AKITA UNIVERSITY

snowboarding is pain

I woke up this morning feeling excruciating pain all over my body. Each time I made a simple movement, it hurts. Every time I tried to lift up my arms, it hurts. A small lump of pain appeared of the left side of my throat and my shoulders are stiff as a board.

But I’m not going to talk about today. I’m going to talk about what I did yesterday.

Yesterday, I went snowboarding with pojik and zarul. The last time I snowboard is one year ago, so I have to be mentally prepared to fall a lot because I know I’m not going to remember what I have learnt before about snowboarding during my previous attempts at it. And fall, I did. A lot. And I guess although my mental side is ready, the physical side of me is not.

I snowboard like only 2-3 times a year so there is no way that I’m going to be good at it.

I sucked! Of course the main reason of this is because I don’t snowboard that much to obtain the required skills to be called ‘good at it’, but until now, I didn’t realize that I was THIS bad. If my memories were clear as the blue sky at the Juenese Ski Park yesterday, I thought I didn’t suck. Far from good of course, but definitely not on the level of suck; that was my previous assumption about my own snowboarding skills. Oh how wrong I was.

Getting your body slammed several times to the ground at high speed is painful enough, but nothing can be compared to when getting your dick squeezed between you body and a slump of hard snow, at high speed with full momentum from the fall.

I was so unfortunate yesterday. I was speeding on a steep slope. Feeling the cold breeze at this speed is fun and awesome! Then after realizing that if I don’t slow down, I’m going to lose control and hit a deer or something, I tried to do a cool, fast break; like the pros do it on tv. I forgot. I still suck at the sport. Lost balance and I got my body slammed to the ground very hard. And by some divine magic, during those crucial milliseconds of my mishap, I have succeeded to get my dick placed right on top of a slump of hard snow; and I let the momentum and speed of my body to slam my poor wang. Or shlong. Or weiner. Or pecker. Or knob. Or rod. Or shaft. Or phallus. Let’s just called it a male genitalia ok?

I must say. It was fucking painful. Damn!

I want to put my hand into my pants to make sure that everything is attached but I can’t really move because it was painful. So I just sit there, rubbing my little brother from the outside of my pants. I looked up and there comes a girl skiing down, staring at a foreigner who was rubbing his crotch like crazy. No matter how much you stare, you won’t understand the pain o little girl!

Then a sudden fear comes into play. What if it was squashed during impact? What if it was bleeding? I don’t want to have to say to my future wife this: before I ask to marry you, I have a secret to tell --> my dick is squashed and looks like a flatten banana balloon because I slammed it onto a slump of hard snow.

So I have to check whether the smaller (not the best word to describe it) part of me is functional and 100% OK. During these times of emergency, I wish I had a catalogue of women’s lingerie with pretty models in it to help me. Unfortunately, I don’t have those so I have to use my imagination. I used my extraordinary imagination to visualize all sorts of things that could turn that little guy into HULK, but all was in vain.

I was really freaking out; and then I remembered the time when I was just 8 years old at school. We had an English class in the library and the teacher (a pretty chinese-kelantanese young lady) told us to draw some pictures of animals. After giving her orders, we started our assignments on the floor while the teacher returns to the observing desk. I was sitting right in front of the teacher’s desk and to my horror, or joy, the pretty teacher sits on her chair with her legs opened, not knowing that the whole class could see her crotch clearly. To top it off, she’s not wearing anything underneath those silky white skirts so I could see clearly her unshaven secondary women lips(it's not a short skirt really, just on the knee line). I called my friend and ask him what the hell am I looking at, but he just told me to shut up so I continued to draw, while being very confused. At that time, I thought she had a horrible accident during circumcision, and I was pretty shaken by that thought. Damn, I should have looked a little bit longer because it would take years and years more before I get to see that again at this close range. Shaven.

After that brief moment of my fabulous history being brought back into my world of imagination, at last I got confirmation that the little guy is beginning to get angry and could turn into a full, bigger and harder than a rock HULK the green beast. I was so relieved. So after knowing that my banana and his two coconuts are okay, I continue snowboarding until its 3 p.m.

Before leaving, I had a shrimp burger and the sweet thing about this is that when I bought the coupons, I put 500 yen into the machine and it gave me back 710 yen! I’m so lucky. Then we brave the cold waters to take wudhu and performed solat in the changing room.

On the way back home, the three of us made some pretty weird conversations and had vowed to not speak the contents of the conversations to anyone else, so it was kinda cool. Then we hit the local sushi restaurant, and I ate like 5 plates only because I was just too tired to eat more.

Got back home, and went to sleep. Then I wake up this morning feeling like a train wreck. Then I did the laundry and watched appleseed ex machine; which is awesome. Then, because I have nothing else to do, I thought it would be fun to write about what I did yesterday, so here I am finishing my thoughts about that. Until next time....

*p/s: by reading today’s post, now you know that my childhood experience kinda affected my current state of mind a little bit. Might be funny, but not a pretty thang!

Edison Chen: You’re My Hero !!!

This might be an old story but I have just found out about the Edison Chen sex photo scandal!!! Yeah Edison Chen from my favourite Hong Kong police movie Infernal Affairs! What an awesome scandal this one is, and it might be the biggest one in asia right now!

Chen was involved in a sex scandal in January 2008, when hundreds of racy photographs, reportedly stolen from his laptop while it was sent out for repair at a computer shop, became widely circulated on the Internet. Many of the photos featured explicit nudity, and included images of himself as well as several high-profile female celebrities from the Hong Kong entertainment industry.

Just think about it, do you know anyone else who had fucked as many celebrities as Chen? Edison Chen has become a living legend for sure. He fucked, anally abused and received countless blowjobs from many celebrities, and pictures of 14 of those ‘lucky’ celebrities sucking his dick and licking his balls ended up on hong kong internet forums. He even fucked Cecilia Cheung, who is extremely hot and has quite a talent in acting (see Lost In Time and The King of Comedy).

It was a bummer though that he had decided to step away from the entertainment industry to do voluntary and social work instead. Instead of fucking hong kong celebrities, he choose to fuck volunteer and social workers instead… I really don’t understand this guy.

If you want to see the picture yourself, it can be easily be found on hong kong torrent sites; but be warned, it’s very sexually explicit: lots of dick sucking and celebrities with unshaven pussy posing in front of Chen’s camera and… you got the point.

Ok to the lazy people, you can download the torrent here:

http://isohunt.com/torrents/?ihq=edison+chen&ts

*p/s:

1) if you live in china though, it is best that you don't download the files because there has been cases of random people being arrested just because they have the images in their hard drive. so be careful !

2) the picture above is cecilia cheung, in a police woman cosplay! damn those hong kong celebrities know how to party! of course the picture was taken by Chen. Lots of other pictures that are more 'revealing' than this one; that is my assurance!

school shooting

american school shootings. after the virginia tech massacre, it's like a trend now. the most recent school shooting in Northern Illinois that caused the life of 6, is the forth case in a week already. how could such monstrosity happen? how could young minds such as those killers be willing to took other people's life so randomly?

and it got me thinking. the real war the american should be fighting is not in iraq, afghanistan, syria or iran. it's in their own backyard, in their own community, in their own family.

the creation of dysfunctional individuals is not the effect of violent movies or video games. it's the collaborative effort of a community that despises people that are different and cannot accept LOSERS. America is a very competitive place to live that frown upon weakness and imperfections. they should really think about not thinking too much, take a chill pill and just relax. you don't have to smoke weed to make this world a better place, but you could be supportive to other people and just be nice to everyone. i know it's not an easy thing to decipher but all hope is still not lost. America is a falling empire, but that does not mean they should bring the people down with them.

banning guns to the public altogether could damper the arms business. but it surely could prevent these mass killings from happening again. or at least make it harder. so to the next US president: do the right thing!

rice-cake making with kindergarten kids!

Another cultural exchange program today with a slight difference; it’s with Japanese kindergarten kids. And we’re making rice-cake together! These kids are 5-6 years old so I’m very excited because Japanese kids are the cutest! I used to join a cultural exchange program with primary school kids (around 10-11 years old) and it was fun too, except they’re already grown up a bit making them little shy with strangers.

We could hear voices of children laughing and screaming when we arrived at the main entrance of the kindergarten. It’s a very big, clean and well organized, happy place for children. Then we were brought to the main hall to be introduced to the children. After that, one country after another, we were called to be in front of all the kids to show them the national flag and answer some questions about our country. Unfortunately for the Russians, the teachers put up the wrong Russian flag (the red army flag). Worse for the English, the teachers forgot to put up their flag. What a shame; and even though there were no Brazilian with us, they put up their flag also. So this teaches the children that even kindergarten teachers make mistakes, their human! Not a big deal at all.

Then we were asked to teach the kids about how animals sounded in our country. Like in the U.S., chicken would make a ‘cook-a-doodle-do’ sound while in Japan they sounded like this: ‘koke-kokkou’. Cats in japan: ‘nya’ while in china it’s ‘miau’, like everybody else. It’s very interesting to discover that people from different country interprets the sound of animals differently. Dogs in U.S. made a ‘bow wow’ sound while in Japan it’s just ‘wan wan’. In Korea its ‘kong kong’ while in England it’s ‘wuff wuff’. What about Malaysia? I don’t know, so I made it all up. When the ‘animal sound’ corner was over, this American girl came up to me and said “out of all the sounds, the Malaysian version is the funniest!!!”.

After that was over, we enter the main event: rice-cake making! What we do is that we use this long, heavy wooden hammer to beat the mochi rice until it becomes sticky and mochi-like. Of course we do it with the children like in the video below.

When the mochi (rice-cake) was done, it’s time to eat! They made 3 variations of mochi: soy souce, red bean and another one where it was covered with a mysterious powder. I hope it’s not drugs.

I joined the melon group (groups were divided by fruit names) to eat my mochi while chatting with the children. The girl sitting next to me was the cutest thing and she really has some interesting things to say. I did not expect much when talking to a 5 year old but she shocked me when suddenly she said that she would snap the neck of anyone who would bother her and leave the poor bastard to die. I told her to stop talking like that and use more polite Japanese because she was using foul language. She asked why, so I told her that she might hurt people’s feelings and I asked her to image what would she felt if someone else does the same thing. She told me she would stuck a long nail into the forehead of the kid who would do that to her. And this is with the presence of the founder of the kindergarten; and he did not say a word. The founder (he’s 91 years old) pretended like he does not hear a thing.

That really shocked me. How could they let these 5 year olds to say such violent things? What’s more bothering is that how can a 5 year old even think about killing other people? She is the cutest thing ever but she says the worst. Of course, this incident does not represent the majority of Japanese kids; not every Japanese kid is going to grow up to be psychopath, but this must be a sign of something that is very wrong about the education for children here.

で、それだけじゃない。「お前、ブス！」と超可愛い５歳の子供に言われたら、どう思います？悲しかったり、切なかったりして、頭を抱えることしか出来なくて、本当にショック。

Or maybe it’s just a joke? She was smiling and laughing when she said it; but do normal 5 year old jokes about killing people? Or maybe it’s because of me? I’m definitely a very bad influence to small children because I have turned a cute girl into a psychopathic child. Or maybe I’m just exaggerating this issue.

Then came the time to say goodbye. I rub the head of the psychopathic girl, hoping she did not end up killing any of her teachers or friends in the kindergarten because blood, gut and violence does not fit this happy place, at all. What am I thinking; she is going to be fine. She won’t kill anyone.

It was snowing heavily outside and I (with a Korean and a Mongolian student) took the taxi home. We talked about global warming and the future of alternative energy to counter that problem. But I’m still a bit worried about that kid.

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