Being a Muslim in Japan

Ramadhan gave me the opportunity to sit back and take a third-person look at my past experiences being a Muslim in Japan. I'm not really good at being super religious, but I strive to be a better person each day; but I must say, being in Japan did change my view about being an ordinary Muslim just trying to get through life.

A lot of my Muslim friends ask me: Is it hard to be a Muslim in Japan compared to Malaysia?

My normal answer would be: Definitely not easy, but you’ll get used to it in time.

It is easier to practice Islam when you’re in a community with a Muslim majority; mosques are a plenty, halal food is everywhere, everyone knows the do’s and don’ts of Islam and you don’t really have to think about integration with people from different cultural/religious backgrounds. Everything is easier.

The same things cannot be said when it comes to Japan, the land of the rising sun. Unlike other developed countries like the United States, Great Britain, France etc, in Japan the mosques are scarce, halal food could only be bought through the internet, there are a lot of misunderstandings about Islam and a lot of people thought that religion are nothing more than a technique that people had been using from ancient times to control other people’s way of life.

There is only a mere 1% of the people who live in Japan who is Muslim, and 90% of that pie came from Muslim foreigners. And 90% of those Muslim Japanese, became Muslims because they want to marry a Muslim. Suffice to say the percentage Muslim Japanese in Japan is like the percentage of Jew Malaysians in Malaysia, they’re really small in numbers.

The majority of Japanese people are Liberal Atheists, and they perceive religion as a very personal thing; as long as you don’t mess up with other people’s business, you’re doing just fine. Islamophobia almost doesn’t exist because people don’t really care about religion or faith; and some doesn't even know the existence of Islam to begin with. But that is slowly changing, sadly by the works of Osama Bin Laden.

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So what does it mean to be a Muslim in Japan?

Being Muslim in Japan means you have to practice Islam more than you would in Malaysia, IF you want to achieve the equal level of closeness with the faith. Being a Muslim in Japan demands more effort and a strong will of Iman.

I might be dead wrong, but at least that’s my opinion; through experience.

This is because, in a daily life of a Muslim in Japan, the exposure and sense of existence of the strong cultures of Islam, especially the ritual part, are very low compared to what I used to feel when I’m in Malaysia. You don’t hear the azan, nobody cares about the concept of covering one's awrah, people idolize pork, they don’t pray, and you don’t hear conversations discussing Islam. Everytime you want to shop for food, you have to check the contents in the back for haram ingredients, and you can’t fell safe because sometimes the haram ingredients are not written at all.

But like I said before, it’s all ritual stuff. The essence and value of Islam is actually everywhere in Japan. The roads are swept clean from rubbish (sense of cleanliness), the level of crime is one of the lowest in the world (sense of righteousness), almost everyone is polite at certain level (sense of being nice?), everyone is dedicated to their work (well, maybe TOO dedicated sometimes, ever heard of Karōshi?)… these are some of the qualities that Islam claimed to promote.

Japanese people are very much Muslims at heart; they just eat pork, don’t perform the solat and have a weird fondness to hentai and pervert things.

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Of course, not everything about Japan is all cherry and honey. Like any other country in the world, there are lots of things that are fucked up about Japan. Take for instance, its high suicide rate and sexual crimes. Well, I can’t deny that although Japanese are very nice people, they sometimes are too serious and they do live in a very stressful society that frowns upon failure; compared to Malaysians. People believe that they fail because they don’t work hard enough.

They rather die than face the shame of being a failure, it’s unbearable to them. They took the concept of 'losing face' to a higher level than we Malaysians.

Anyways, I’m not an expert in social-science of Japan, so my observation about the Japanese society might be nothing more than bullshit, so don’t really believe what I think about them. You never know, there maybe a stress-free Japanese person out there who is lazy as hell, cannot eat raw fish and hate hentai.

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Being a Muslim in Japan, people will ask about this alien religion that seems to be associated with a lot of violence and terrorism, as famously portrayed by the international media. I was once asked “So you’re a Muslim? You’re not with the Al-Qaeda, aren’t you?”

At first, I was really uncomfortable with people associating Islam and violence while pointing it to my nose. Damn you OSAMA! But I came to take these ignorant ideas and see it in a humorous way and make a joke about it.

“Hi my name is Taufiq Ali and just because I didn’t bring my bomb-wrapped green jacket, that doesn’t mean that I’m not a proper Muslim”

Islam teaches about peace and being cool with each other, but it is hard to answer to the violence, unfairness and human-right-abusive actions that those Muslims did in the other part of the world. You can say “ohh don’t compare me to them, they’re extremist!” but the fact still remains that they’re Muslim, no matter how fucked up their understanding of the religion is.

The only thing that I could do is to explain to them that in every religion, there are extremists and clever opportunists who use the influence and strict sense of obedience in religion, for their own personal gain; or for an ideology that was based on hatred, not peace as being taught by Prophet Muhammad saw.

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One of the main responses when I talk about Islam to my Japanese friends is the ritual obligation and some of the strict regulations about food and social-interactions. A good Muslim doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink alcohol, doesn’t eat disgusting pork and doesn’t have pre-marital sex. They jumped when I said that couples were not even allowed to hold hands; and hand-jobs are just unthinkable.

“So you are telling me… even if one day, a very beautiful lady with a really healthy set of knockers came to you and said you could fondle her breasts for free, you wouldn’t do it?”

No I won’t. I will say no, as I swept away the tears bursting out of my eyes.

“Wow I don’t believe you. So what if this one very pretty girl came up to you and offered to PAY you to bone her senseless? An offer no man can refuse. Just think about it. You don’t have to bring her for a nice dinner in some fancy restaurant. You don't have to go the cinemas and watch romatic movies with her just to pretend to be a sensitive guy who could stand romance. You don’t have to act like you’re listening to her talk about emotions and feelings etc, you know, the words that girls often use to confuse men. You don’t have to buy her innocent gifts like teddy bears (which is gay, but guys do it anyways in hope of happy-bang-bang in return). In short, you don’t have to pretend that you care about what she thinks and feels, and still you’re being offered sexy-time!”

First I would think for a second, and before conscience tries to cloud my judgment, I will say no to that too, but I will probably hit the floor and cry like a baby later on.

“You’re tough, but what if this extremely cute girl with the most perfect shape of breast…..”

As you can see, being Muslim in Japan is not very easy.

…to be continued…





probably way after Ramadhan is over.

msaj career-fair 2008 (T_T)

I meant to post this earlier but laziness and lack of idea to write has resulted in this delay. Whatever. So a couple of weeks ago I went to the jobfair that msaj conducted in Tokyo, and surprisingly, I thought it was well worth the long trip to get there; although it almost drained all of my energy and animalistic sexual desires. Just right after returning home, I booted up my PC and watched a video of yoshizawa akiho in a Japanese subway train on youtube, and I felt nothing. Proof that I’m very tired.

The 6 of us (zarul, bentong, sherrrrr, shazi, tipah and me) started our long journey at 1200 hours in a rented mazda premacy; the car was not small, but I would prefer it to be bigger though. I can’t feel my ass after sitting in there for hours and hours.

Uish, tulis dalam bahasa melayu pon ok gak nih!

Sampai kat Tokyo, terus cari tempat bermalam. Pusing punya pusing, last2 jumpa satu capsule hotel kat asakusa, dekat aje ngan tempat jobfair tu dianjurkan. What’s a capsule hotel, you might ask? Wikipedia it!

Capsule hotel kat Asakusa tuh lebih kurang mcam capsule hotel kat Osaka yg aku penah stay dulu. Cuma kat sini, ada 露天風呂(rotenburo – outdoor hot spring bath). Lokasi plak kat tingkat atas sekali pulak tuh! So sambil mandi hot spring bogel ramai2 ngan customer2 lain, aku bole sempat menikmati keindahan malam asakusa dari tempat tinggi. Mintak2 la takde org ambik gamba daripada jalan raya kat bawah. Feels good to be bare-ass naked, on top of a tall building, overseeing a culturally-rich Japanese town like Asakusa.

Badan pon jadi panas lepas mandi, terus pegi nak tido. Hmm… capsule hotel nih memang la kecik, tapi ok la kalo setakat nak buat tido. Tapi sebab capsule2 nih dia letak padat + rapat2, memang susah gak la nak tido kalo tak tahan bunyi. Mcam situation aku, pakcik sebelah depan capsule aku dengkur kuat gila, pastu siap mengigau apa ntah. Org sebelah aku ni plak tengah layan Japanese AV (brapa yen ntah sejam, lupa) dengar sampai capsule aku. Kalo skill meneka aku hebat, kalo tak silap aku, dia mesti tengah layan Aoi Sora punya video; kali ni dia jadi nurse rajin yg ingin berbakti untuk keselesaan pesakit2 di bawah jagaan nya. I mean, no one mourns like Aoi Sora! That’s why I know! Hmmm….. Tapi sedar tak sedar, aku tertido gak. Bunyi alarm handphone membuka mata di awal pagi.

Bukak mata, rasa malas gila nak mandi. Lagipon sebelum tido semalam dah mandi dah. So aku ambik keputusan untuk sembur deodorant aje. 5 saat. Lebih daripada itu, ketiak bole beku! Pastu pegi siap2 pakai suit sumer. It’s time to go job hunting!

Sampai2 kat lokasi, dapat jumpa ngan memba2 lama. Memba2 time kat skolah bahasa dulu. Gilak ah dah lama gila tak jumpa. 懐かしい。。。 tapi yg paling aku terkejut ialah perubahan mendadak si razmi. Weh slim gila ko skang! Pastu, mentang2 dah slim, sedap2 aje kutuk aku dah jadi bulat ek? Takpe. Nanti aku ganbaru diet! Karu plak stay boroi. Yanti plak... 綺麗になったな！Good to see you guys!

Anyways, masuk2 aje dewan jobfair tuh, kepala pening sekejap. Ada banyak gila booth with too many people. Tak tau aku nak cuba company apa. Pusing punya pusing punya pusing, aku ambik giliran kat perodua. Ramai gila org yg mintak perodua nih. Tunggu lama gila nak sampai giliran aku. Perodua punya interview ni pelik gak. Ada 3 org interviewer. Kebanyakan org kena dalam english, tapi time aku duduk kat situ, aku bole dengar gak kenkadang diaorg cakap melayu. Ada jugak yg kena cakap bahasa jepun. woot berdebar2 gak la. Mana tau time aku, dia suruh cakap melayu, english, japanese selang seli? Woo pening!

tunggu punya tunggu, last2 masuk lunch time! So diaorg suruh org yg tunggu belakang aku pegi makan dulu, tinggal aku ngan paklan aje last. Fuuh. Pastu kena panggil. Hmm... nasib baik interviewer aku nih cool aje. Takde nak pressure2 sangat. Soalan nya bukan nya soalan2 yg berbentuk akademik ke apa ke. Dia cuma tanya kenapa nak masuk perodua, nak kerja bahagian mana (aku cakap quality control ataupon production), pasal life kat jepun etc. It was a pretty controlled and relaxed mood. He asked me a short question, so I gave him a long, detailed answer. At the end of the interview, the interviewer asked me : "So kamu nih memang betul2 berminat la ngan perodua nih? Kita tengok la macam mana ye…"

The interview lasted about 30 minutes when everybody took about 20. I talk too much. Anyways, perut dah berkeroncong so cepat2 aku minta diri pastu pegi ke kaunter ambik makanan. Beratur sekejap pastu sampai la giliran aku. Aku tengok org depan2 aku sumer dapat bento tempura. Oh sedap nya. Tapi sampai2 giliran aku, diaorg cakap bento dah habis, sedangkan aku bole nampak banyak lagi bento tempura yg sama, dalam kotak yg diaorg letak belakang counter tuh. Hmm... pelik gak, asal diaorg stop bagi bento nih?

Mula2 org kat counter tu cakap ada masalah sket. Masalah apa pulak, bagi aje la kan? So tanya punya tanya, baru la aku tau masalah nya. Rupa2 nya bento tempura yg diaorg edarkan selama tuh, ada masuk bahan2 yg diperbuat daripada BABI. Muhahaha nasib baik aku tak makan, tapi nasib malang la kepada yg dah makan. Harap2 diaorg mulakan makan ngan bismillah dan habiskan makan ngan alhamdulillah. Burp.

Aha lupa nak cakap. aku sebenarnya dah janji ngan org msaj untuk rahsiakan perkara nih, tapi aku janji untuk tak cakap kot mulut aje. Aku tak janji yg aku takkan tulis dalam blog nih hehehe so I don't break any promises ok?

Tapi kenapa la msaj bole buat kesilapan besar mcam ni? Sebenarnya msaj dah buat siap2 bento (yg confirm halal) sendiri untuk diedarkan. Tapi silap budget, org yg datang lagi ramai drpd bento yg disediakan. Attendance was unexpectedly high. So dia org menggelabah la nak pegi beli bento tambahan, dan time diaorg pegi beli tu la yg diaorg lalai nak check, ada BABI ke tak. Memang tak patut… so aku minum air C.C. Lemon aje nak alas perut. Pastu pow roti drpd Arip. ありがとう！マジ助かった！

Lepas waktu rehat, aku pegi cuba Konica-Minolta plak. Mula2 kena ambik IQ test. Aduih leceh tul la IQ test. Pastu dlm jam 1430, kena pegi interview. Masuk2 bilik, ada 2 org interviewer tgh interview seorg gadis melayu. Haha. And at the waiting seat, there's another girl sitting with her face down. She looked pretty nervous. She kept rubbing her hands, left and right.

If I were in a vacation right now, I'd sure think of something to help this girl with her nervousness, talk to her, make a dumb joke to make her smile. Unfortunately, I'm having my job interview so I walk silently to sit next to her, thinking and creating stories that I could use during the interview.

Sambil tunggu giliran kena panggil tu, aku fikir la mcam2 jenis idea dan cerita yg bole dipakai time interview nanti. Kenapa aku tertarik ngan camera. Pengetahuan aku pasal teknologi camera. Pasal Konica-Minolta punya introduction to internal lens into the camera world. Macam2 la. Buah fikiran.

Tapi time aku tengah reka2 idea2 nih, aku terdengar interviewer tu cakap kat girl yg tgh kena interview tu: No, you have been mistaken. We don’t make cameras; we make HARD-DISKs!

EEE!!! Company ni buat hard disk ke?! Terus aku menoleh kat girl sebelah aku; tanya dia. She answered with a nervous smile saying yes. Alamak! Idea pasal camera tak bole pakai la kalo mcam nih! Kena fikir idea baru pasal HARD-DISK plak! Dan time tu jugak la dia panggil aku ke depan. Interview bermula.

Interviewer ada dua orang. One Chinese-Malaysian lady on the left and a Japanese men, probably in his 50’s on the right. The lady interviewer looked very bored and tired; then as soon as I took the seat, she looked at me with her sleepy eyes and asked: What is your weakness?

At first, I was thinking about jokingly telling her that my weakness is that I don’t know what my weaknesses is; so that she could wake up and actually hear what I want was saying. Thank God, my reasonings hit my head with a red brick, telling me to be serious; this is not a time to tell your stupid jokes!

As I was answering all these questions, I could see that both of the interviewers are already tired and worned out. Only the lady interviewer is doing the questioning though, the Japanese interviewer just listens. I have to do something to grab their intention and try to be different. Then she asked me if I have a question.

So I asked them: I believe that the era of the traditional hard disks with a spinning physical component is almost over. I believe that the future of digital storage lies in the development of flash based memory or other types of media. Like IBM, they just abandoned their hard disk development to focus on next-generation flash memory technology. So how does Konica-Minolta deal with this change to stay alive in the market? (Well, that is not EXACTLY what I asked, of course, but the meanings are the same, it’s just shorter as I don’t remember it word by word!)

Aku tanya dia, Konica=Minolta ni bole hidup lama ke dengan teknologi hard disk yg ketinggalan nih? Aduih, mulut aku ni memang patut kena cili. Kenapa la bole ter’kutuk’ company tu masa interview plak. Siot tul.

The lady interviewer looked at me like she didn’t understand what I was asking. The Japanese interviewer took a long hmmmmmmm and then started to open his mouth, explaining to me (in Japanese) that the future of hard disks is here to stay, and it’s far superior to any flash memory technology out there.

Adoih, kenapa la aku bole ter’kutuk’ company ni plak. Mulut aku ni memang la, banyak cakap sangat. Pastu time dia tengah bengang gila nak defend company dia punya future, I know I have to nod in agreement with what ever he is saying IF I want to save this interview-gone-bad. Then he stood up and started to draw bar graphs and pie charts, to help with his explanations. Hmm… I think I’ve pissed him off pretty good. I mean, who wouldn’t? When a mere student is dissing your own company, you have to defend it.

As I nod in agreement, I knew I fucked the interview up; why do I have to make the interviewer angry? Then at that point, I don’t care about the interview any more. I just wanna talk about hard disks with the Japanese interviewer. I complained that the hard disk sucks because it could break easily because of its moving parts, the reading speed is slow etc. What ever point that made me annoyed with the current hard disk technology, I brought it up, just to make my point about the failing future of the hard disk even stronger. I don’t care, if I fall down, at least I’d fall down with pride. Or perhaps that was just sheer arrogance and childishness. So we talked and talked. Eventually, the interview ended, 45 minutes, when it took 10 minutes for others.

When I’m finished, there were about 8-10 interviewees waiting at the back; I made them wait because I’ve been using more time than a normal interview would. When I walk out of the interview room, the Japanese interviewer went out also, to light a cigarette. Maybe he’s as tired as I am after our small talk. Then I remember him telling me: すごく良かった。後、日本語で説明出来て、良かった。

Is this guy for real? I just dissed his company, and he’s telling me it was good? This must be a trick or something. I don’t believe him, I’m sure to fail the interview.

One month has passed since that dreadful interview, and I was surprised that I was wrong.

Last week, I got an email from Konica-Minolta: I passed the first interview and were asked to attend the second interview this August! Aku kutuk syarikat tu time interview, dan aku lepas! Memang tak logic langsung. This must be a trick! Perodua punya interview, yg aku rasa ok sket, tak dengar apa2 berita plak.

Anyways, my job hunting is not over yet. Tomorrow, I’m going to Sendai (Miyagi Prefecture) to take SPI and IQ tests, as a part of an interview with this Japanese audio-visual and car navigational system company. Wish me luck, I need it.

diari hari ini

Tengah hari tadi macam biasa la, pegi marudai cari bento. Mcam ni la kehidupan aku skang, hidup bergantung kepada bento aje, nak masak sendiri malas plak hehe. Masuk2 marudai, terus pegi bento corner, ambik shake (salmon) bento 398 yen, terus gi kaunter nak bayar.

Time tengah beratur tuh, aku tengok sekeliling; mata menjalar kearah kaunter2 lain, kiri kanan. Mak aih, customer lain sumer nya suri rumah tangga, sumer tengah shopping untuk masak malam la kot. Penuh satu shopping basket ngan ikan la, sayur la, buah-buahan la. さすが主婦！

Customer yg kat depan aku nih, punya la stylo berpakaian, ngan low-cut denim + mid-high heels; tapi dondong anak kat belakang mcam pikul beg skolah. Dia beli daging babi brapa pack ah, pastu tisu tandas, kubis pastu apa lagi ah.

Adoih bosan sungguh aku menunggu in-line masa time suri rumah ramai nih. Diaorg nih memang beli banyak gila. Time sampai giliran, aku ternampak plak kat corner depan pintu masuk tuh ada satu corner baru; jual sotong padat! Terus aku kagum: kat jepun pon ada jual gak ke sotong padat nih?! Terus aku keluar line, kaki melangkah laju aje ke corner yg mcam menarik tuh.

100 yen sebijik? Wah lai mahal nya! Tapi kalo tengok rupa, pastu aroma nya, memang sebijik mcam sotong padat kat mesia la. Cuma sotong yg diaorg pakai nih nampak lagi kembung. Ish ni tak leh jadi nih. Kena cuba try makan nih!!!

Dengan perasaan berdebar2 aku check ingredients yg terpampang kat promotion board tuh. Fuhh selamat! Takde pakai bahan2 halal! So apa lagi, terus aku ambik seketul, pastu terus gi beratur balik dalam line. Adoih kena tunggu lagi. Kali nih customer depan aku sorang makcik tua plak.

Tapi nasib baik sebab dia beli sos tiram ngan garam aje. Nampak gaya nya, makcik nih tgh masak kot, pastu baru sedar dia takde sos tiram ngan garam, so terus dia tergesa2 datang tanpa sedar yg dia tak tanggalkan lagi apron.

Urusan dah abis, terus menuju ke basikal. Wooh! Org yg parking beskal dia sebelah beskal aku letak anjing plak dalam raga. Kecik nak mampos anjing tuh, kalo aku sepak ngan kaki kiri pon bole terbang sampai Hulu Langat. Aku tarik basikal aku slow2, tak nak kejutkan anjing yg tengah tido. Geram nak sepak.

Balik2 bilik, terus letak sotong padat yg aku beli tadi atas cutting board. Belah dua. Cium bau. Hmm bau memang sebijik mcam mesia punya. Letak dalam mulut. !!!. Rasa pon sama siot! Cuma dia letak nasi jepun aje. Kalo yg mesia punya, letak pulut. Hmm… aku rasa version mesia lagi sedap kot, sebab rasa pulut tu lagi kuat.

Pastu aku buka monitor computer. Hmm drama LOST episode 7 dah siap download. So aku tgk la episode nih sambil makan bento. Gilak ah best gila episode kali nih! Memang tak sia2 aku download version HD punya. 1GB untuk satu episode tuh. LOST season 4 nih memang best. Aku rasa season yg paling best kot dlam banyak2 season dia selama nih.

Tiba2 dapat email drpd prof research lab. Waah dapat kerja plak! Kena siapkan sebelum 27hb nih. Hari ni 22hb… sempat kot buat. Kerja nya simple aje: Translate thesis yg foreign researcher buat, daripada English ke Japanese. Simple tapi memang memakan masa yg lama sebab nuance bahasa jepun ngan bahasa inggeris nih lain, so kena hati2 time translate. 面倒くせぇ！

Lepas abis tgk LOST, pasang Xbox 360 plak. Nak sambung main The Darkness. Tapi timbul satu masalah besar. Xbox aku kena penyakit The Ring of Death! Pastu freeze. Terus tak leh main !!! Arrghhh !!! Haish, nampak gaya nya… kena la aku beli PS3 hahahaha !!! Nanti beli la PS3 bila Grand Theft Auto 4 kuar. Tak sabar wooh. Xbox aku bole pegi mampos hahaha! Hmm… nanti ah anta kedai servis. Harap2 dia tak kena charge baiki. Siot tul la Microsoft, buat hardware asyik ada fault jeh. Software pon sama.

Sebab takleh main game, aku pasang movie plak. JUMPER. Mcam best aje. Trailer mcam best, so memang aku excited gila. Tapi malang sekali. Movie nih tak best gila. Cerita hancur. Lakonan lagi la teruk. Takde focus atau pon narration yg lurus. Progression diantara scene bercelaru. CGI ngan action scenes pon mediocre aje. Sungguh aku hampa.

Tup tap tup tap, dah pukul 9 malam. Dlm pkl 9:30, dak2 nih kumpul kat kaikan nak bawak kohai (junior) yg baru datang daripada mesia makan kat marumatsu. Kohai belanja, so kena la ikut hehehe. Perut aku masih kenyang lagi drpd makan bento tadi, so aku makan tempura soba aje. Simple. Terima kasih kohai2 yg baru datang; even though aku tak ingat lagi nama korang. Selamat Datang ke Akita.

Balik bilik, check email. Antara kandungan email2 aku yg menarik sket nak citer:

1) Awek Romania nih ejek aku ‘small penis’. Ces. Tapi aku tipu cakap yg aku ni org jepun time aku mula2 start email ngan dia. Memang patut la dia ejek aku mcam tu; org jepun nih besar mana la yeh.... Ntah2 dia pon tipu gak. Ntah2 dia bukan nya awek umur 24 tahun, tapi pakcik European tua kutuk berjanggut suka child pornography.

2) Mamat Nigeria, dia cakap dia umur 25 tahun, tegap, nice body pastu have a nice smile; dia cakap nak kawan. Hahahahahaha gila gay nak mampos! Cuak siot. Terus delete, ban and sayonara forever hahaha!

Abis check email pastu ngarut2 kat social networking sites, rasa nak buat assignment tadi plak. Tapi dah lewat nih. Baik aku tido. Tapi sebelum tido, tulis blog dulu hahaha. Start esok, bangun awal, pastu focus buat assignment. Okeh. Itu mission aku !

Fulamak! Post hari nih dalam bahasa ibunda ku! Feeweett!

first ski experience! スキー初体験！

It’s almost 5 years since I first set foot on Japanese soil, and before last week, I’ve never skied before! So last week, about 10 days ago, I joined the university’s ski tour to ski for the first time in my life! I’ve snowboarded before (like 2-4 times a year) but never tried ski so was very excited and looking forward to this trip.

The trip was targeted to foreign student who had no ski experience whatsoever so it was the perfect trip for me.


It was a two hours trip from the university to the tazawako ski sports facility, the place where we’re going to stay and consume food. Talking about food… let’s just say that it was not the best they could offer.


After taking our first meal, I went to the powder room. To take a shit. And then I was surprised with the toilets they have in the facility. Of course it had the normal warmed seat, jet-water and all; the weirdest thing about the toilet, as seen on the picture above is that it has a button in which if you push it, the toilet seat would make an artificial flushing sound. At first I really don’t understand why the genius Japanese toilet makers would create such functions. Then I used my knowledge of Japanese culture and ways of thinking to solve this mystery.

Let me explain it to you in detail here. See, the Japanese are very polite and don’t want to cause you any unpleasant feelings. Remember this mentality. Then I would like you to imagine yourself shitting a huge pile of shit one day, and the toilet cubicle at both sides are also occupied with people who probably would shit a huge pile of shit too. If you would shit a huge, long, hard human faeces and drop it into the toilet, it would surely make a loud splash sound, a ‘plup’ sound, whatever. This distinct sound is quite embarrassing; so if you are a true Japanese, you would flush the water in just milliseconds before the huge, long, hard shit starts coming out of the hole of you arse and touching the water below. Are you following me? The sound of the flushing water would sort of ‘cover’ the sound of your huge, long, hard shit dropping into the toilet hole. People were doing it since the introduction of western toilets, I guess.

But with the rise of awareness to save water to help with the global warming, this practice seemed very unreasonable because you are wasting water. If you used this method, you would have to flush two times! Oh what a waste! So the brilliant guys at the toilet companies made a remarkable invention: put a button that actives the sound of flushing water! Now, no matter how big, how long and how hard you shit is, you will never have to waste water to cover the sound of your humongous shit dropping into the water. If you felt like the tip of your long, hard shit is just about to come out of your arsehole, just push the button and you are safe from the embarrassment of the sound of your own shit. Man, this kind of invention made me love the Japanese more!

I think even if you’re shitting messy; I mean like diarrhoea-kind of messiness, you could also use the button to cover the sound of shit spraying out of your butt.


Enough about the toilet already! After having some quality time at the powder room, we were told to strap on our ski gear because we’re taking our first ski lesson! Then we were separated into groups; with my groups consisting of 2 malaysians and 3 koreans. The 5 of us had not skied before so everyone looked like a idiot trying to balance themselves for the first time while slowly trying to learn how to break and turn. It was a great lesson and I think I’ve picked it up quite fast, unlike when I first learned how to snowboard. Now I know, snowboarding is a lot harder than skiing.


Skied for 3 hours and that’s enough for the day. I was quite tired after the lesson so I ate like a the fat kid on tv. Then later into the night, they had arranged a little ‘japanese winter’ event for us. First, we were tasked to draw/spray images onto these blocks of flatten snow. We were tasked to draw an image with the theme: Japanese Spring. it took us like 30 minutes and honestly, it was one of the ugliest drawings on a flattened snow that I have ever seen in my entire life. I think our group is kinda retarded. Then I looked at the drawings of the other teams. Thank GOD, they’re far worse.


Then we were tasked to dig holes on walls of pressured snow; holes big enough to fit a candle. Then we put candles into those holes and light it up. The end result is quite amazing, considering how retarded we are. Everyone said it was pretty. I was saying lets get inside I’m freezing my arse out here. Before going to bed, I went into the ofuro (hot spring) to get myself hot and went to sleep like a big baby. Ok, a gorilla baby.

The next morning, I went to the ofuro again; it was awesome! I really like hot springs, it makes your body warm and relaxed. The only negative thing about it is that you have to be fully naked to be able to go inside. I am quite shy when it comes to showing my own dick to strangers, so I always cover my little brother with a small towel, baring my arse for all to see of course.
You see, being a foreigner and also shy to show your penis to the public, it was quite hard. You want to know why? Well, it’s because the Japanese were also very curious people. They want to know. How big/small is the dick of a foreigner? I once went into a traditional hot spring in Nagano with a Nigerian friend, and everyone in the place was looking at the African guy. The Nigerian is not like me; he is not afraid to show his penis to the public. And I think I know why. If an innocent Japanese school girl accidentally saw his penis, she would run away because she might think that she had seen an amazon anaconda. You got the picture. If that guy chooses to work in the Japanese adult entertainment industry as a porn star, I’m sure he’s going to the very top. Yeah.

Enough with huge dicks and ofuro; the next morning, we went out again for the second time. This time, it’s not training anymore; we’re going to get on the lift so that we could start skiing from the top of the mountain. Although I’ve done this many times before, having ski gear at your feet instead of a snowboard does made the experience fresh. There was a slight rush of fear while I was going up the hills because the cable lift were constantly shaking up and down, left to right. I looked down and thought: man if I fall down, I might as well zip down and show my freezing penis to the whole world because I won’t survive the fall.

The moment of truth has cometh upon me. Everyone was on the top of the hill and was waiting to go down. This is the time to use those braking and turning techniques that we learned and practiced yesterday! One by one, the foreign student goes down. A lot of them fell down; one hit a tree and only a few stays standing on their feet. I was glad my training paid off!

The sense of speed rushing onto my face boils me excited, so I went up again to do it all over again. It was fun. After a couple of hours of skiing, the ski instructors told us to go down for the last time because we don’t have anymore time.


Then the inevitable group photo time comes. We took lots of photos, congratulate each other for a small achievement and went back to our staying place for the last lunch and to prepare to go home.

All in all, it was a great weekend. This is what I call a weekend well spent! I never thought that skiing was this fun! But I have to be honest, snowboarding is way cooler, so I ain’t skiing anymore yahoo !!! I want to snowboard !!!

sedikit cerita pasal halal haram makanan

perhatian: aku hanya copy pasted aje article dibawah. tapi tak semestinya aku boleh lepas tangan. aku cuma tertarik dengan hujah penulis article ini. namun begitu, kebarangkalian untuk article ini menyesatkan ilmu pengetahuan anda tentang syarat halal haram makanan dalam islam, tidak boleh dinafikan. treat with caution.
TANDA HALAL PADA MAKANAN

Oleh : Azahidi (1 Mei 2005)

Akhir-akhir ni heboh diseluruh negara Malaysia pasal sausage yang diproses dengan menggunakan usus babi. Isu ini amat sensitif kepada orang Islam, terutamanya apabila ianya melibatkan babi. Maka jabatan-jabatan ugama Islam dan badan-badan dakwah pun sibuk membuat kenyataan di media massa meluahkan kesalan mereka. Usul-usul telah dikuatkan untuk mengetatkan lagi pengunaan tanda halal pada makanan dan tempat-tempat makan.

Pasal babi pula, pantang disebut perkataan babi dalam apa jua keadaan. Orang Islam tak nak dengar perkataan babi. Kotor. Najis. Tidak boleh sentuh babi, kena samak – basuh tujuh kali termasuk sekali dengan air selut/tanah. Walau pun apa perasaan manusia terhadap babi, Allah menyebut perkataan babi dalam Al-Quran pada ayat-ayat 2:173, 5:3, 5:60, 6:145 dan 16:115.

Berbalik kepada isu sausage yang sediakan dengan menggunakan usus babi, haramkah ianya di makan? Perlukah kita kepada tanda halal untuk meghalalkan makanan kita? Apakah panduan kita sekiranya kita berada di Germany, Switzerland, Brazil atau negara-negara yang tidak ada tanda halal? Tidakkah ayat-ayat Allah memadai dan mencukupi sebagai panduan, di mana saja seseorang berada.

Sekarang mari kita cuba faham apa kata al-Quran bersabit dengan makanan.

Ramai orang yang mengakui Islam bercakap pasal makanan halal tanpa betul-betul memahami kriteria yang dijelaskan dalam Quran. Mereka selalunya menggunakan kriteria dan definasi yang direka-reka manusia, bukan hanya definasi Allah yang dijelaskan dalam al-Quran.

Quran (16:112-116) meceritakan bagaimana Allah tidak senang dengan mereka-mereka yang mengharamkan benda-benda yang tidak diharamkan. Mengharamkan apa yang tidak disebut dalam al-Quran adalah menokok tambah apa yang Allah tidak kata. Ianya boleh dikatakan cuba lebih memandai daripada Allah. Orang Islam, yang tunduk patuh, memegang hanya kepada ayat-ayat Allah, hanya undang-undang dan tegahan-tegahan daripada Allah, bukan daripada manusia. Allah tidak lupa. Apa yang tidak disebut, sengaja Allah tidak sebut. Allah tidak kehabisan perkataan.

Katakanlah, "Sekiranya laut adalah dakwat untuk Kata-Kata Pemeliharaku, tentulah laut itu habis sebelum Kata-Kata Pemeliharaku habis, walaupun Kami mendatangkan pengisian semula yang serupa dengan itu." (18:109)

Allah dengan jelas sebut dalam al-Quran apa yang ditegah daripada dimakan. Lihat 2:173, 5:3, 6:145 dan16:115. Daripada ayat-ayat ini kita tahu apa yang boleh dimakan dan apa yang ditegah. Tidak perlu kepada mana badan untuk menokok tambah atau meletak apa-apa tanda.

Hanyalah benda-benda ini yang Dia mengharamkan kamu: bangkai, dan darah, dan daging babi, dan apa-apa yang disucikan kepada selain Allah. Namun begitu, sesiapa yang terpaksa, dengan tidak menginginkan, dan tidak menderhakai, maka tidaklah berdosa kepadanya; sesungguhnya Allah Pengampun, Pengasih. (2:173)

Perhatikan Allah menggunakan perkataan “HANYA benda-benda ini….”. Perhatikan juga Allah menggunakan perkataan “daging babi” dan tidak keseluruhan babi. Ianya spesifik kepada daging babi. Terpulanglah kepada kita untuk mendefinasikan apa “daging babi”. Kita mesti ingat Allah tidak kehabisan perkataan (18:109 diatas) dan boleh memberikan kita beratus-ratus ayat untuk menjelaskan pasal makanan. Allah berkehendak sendiri untuk menjelaskan yang mana spesifik, khusus dan yang mana am. Bila Allah sebut “bangkai” ianya am kepada mana-mana bangkai termasuk bangkai ayam atau kambing.

Kita tidak perlu mengagak untuk memahami KEMURAHAN Yang Amat Pemurah. Pemelihara kita tahu yang ramai orang Islam akan hidup di kalangan penganut ugama lain dan akan berkongsi makanan. 1400 tahun dahulu Allah telah memberitahu Nabi Muhammad,

Pada hari ini, benda-benda yang baik dihalalkan bagi kamu, dan makanan orang-orang yang diberi al-Kitab adalah halal bagi kamu, dan dihalalkan bagi mereka, makanan kamu…. (5:5)

Ayat ini diturunkan pada ketika mana Allah sudah memberitahu bahawa “orang-orang yang diberi al-kitab” sudah mengubah kitab-kitab. Kita boleh makan makanan mereka dan sebaliknya asalkan syarat-syarat yang ditetapkan dipatuhi.

Allah telah memberi syarat penting kepada mereka-mereka yang tunduk patuh apabila hendak makan.

Mereka menanyai kamu mengenai apa-apa yang dihalalkan bagi mereka. Katakanlah, "Benda-benda yang baik adalah dihalalkan bagi kamu; dan daripada binatang berburu yang kamu mengajari, dengan melatih anjing untuk memburu, dengan mengajarnya seperti Allah mengajar kamu, maka makanlah apa yang ia menangkapkan untuk kamu, dan ingatlah (sebutlah) nama Allah padanya. Takutilah Allah; sesungguhnya Allah cepat membuat perhitungan." (5:4)

Makanlah daripada apa yang padanya diingatkan (disebut) nama Allah, jika kamu mukmin pada ayat-ayat-Nya (6:118).

Mengapakah dengan kamu, bahawa kamu tidak makan daripada apa yang padanya diingatkan nama Allah, padahal Dia telah menjelaskan kepada kamu apa yang Dia mengharamkan kamu, kecuali kamu terpaksa padanya? Tetapi, sesungguhnya ramai orang menyesatkan dengan keinginan mereka tanpa sebarang pengetahuan; Pemelihara kamu, Dia sangat mengetahui orang-orang yang mencabul (6:119).

Dalam ayat-ayat tersebut, Allah meletakkan tanggung jawab, sebagaimana biasa, keatas individu. Adalah tanggung jawab individu untuk menyebut nama Allah pada masa makan. Perhatikan di sini bahawa Allah menyebut MAKAN dan tidak SEMBELIH pada masa menyebut namaNya. Ianya tiada kena mengena dengan penyembelihan.

Allah tidak meletakkan perbezaan diantara daging yang disediakan oleh orang Islam, Kristian, Yahudi atau lain-lain. Semuanya adalah sama dan boleh dimakan, sekiranya nama Allah disebut semasa makan. Allah maha pemurah untuk menyenangkan kehidupan hamba-hambaNya, bukan untuk menyusahkan sebagaimana ramai yang menokok tambah apa yang telah dijelaskan dalam Quran.

Mengapakah dengan kamu, bahawa kamu tidak makan daripada apa yang padanya diingatkan nama Allah, padahal Dia telah menjelaskan kepada kamu apa yang Dia mengharamkan kamu, kecuali kamu terpaksa padanya? Tetapi, sesungguhnya ramai orang menyesatkan dengan keinginan mereka tanpa sebarang pengetahuan; Pemelihara kamu, Dia sangat mengetahui orang-orang yang mencabul (6:119)

Wahai orang-orang yang percaya, janganlah mengharamkan benda-benda yang baik yang Allah menghalalkan bagi kamu, dan jangan mencabul; sesungguhnya Allah tidak menyukai orang-orang yang mencabul. (5:87)

Maka jangalah kita cuba memandai-mandai untuk mengharamkan apa yang tidak disebut dalam Quran, samaada pada bentuk makanan atau pun cara penyediaan makanan.

Katakanlah, "Adakah kamu memikirkan rezeki yang Allah menurunkan untuk kamu, dan kamu membuat sebahagiannya haram, dan sebahagiannya halal?" Katakanlah, "Adakah Allah memberi izin kepada kamu, atau kamu mengada-adakan terhadap Allah?" (10:59)

Teringat penulis semasa berada di negara Eropah suatu ketika dahulu di mana kebanyakan “orang Islam” selalu menyemak pada senarai bahan buatan (ingredients) sebelum makan. Makanan yang mempunyai bahan E471 dianggap haram dimakan kerana dikatakan bahan tersebut dibuat daripada lemak binatang yang tidak pasti samada disembelih atau tidak. Bagi yang percaya kepada Allah, ayat-ayat Allah yang disampaikan di sini sudah memadai dan jelas untuk dibuat pertimbangan.

Berbalik kepada tanda halal yang dikeluarkan oleh satu jabatan ciptaan manusia, ianya tidak memastikan bahawa makanan itu halal. Kriterianya menggunakan hukum Allah yang dicampur adukkan dengan hukum ciptaan manusia. Kriteria manusia lebih diutamakan daripada kriteria yang dijelaskan Allah. Bagi mereka yang tidak membaca dan memahami Quran, mereka perlu kepada satu kriteria dan tanda ciptaan manusia… tapi untuk mendapat keridhaan Allah.

Untuk memudahkan rujukan pembaca, disenaraikan di sini ayat-ayat Quran berkaitan dengan makanan.

MAKAN APA YANG DIBOLEHKAN – 2:168, 5:88, 5:93, 5:96, 22:30.

APA YANG DILARANG – 2:173, 5:3, 6:145, 16:115.

SEBUT NAMA ALLAH – 6:118, 6:119, 6:121.

JANGAN MENGHARAMKAN APA YANG DIBOLEHKAN – 5:87, 10:59, 16:35, 16:116.

bush dancing

for your entertainment for the day, i bring you the video of bush the funky baby killer, dancing to afrikaan music.

SOTSU OME !!!

sotsu ome merupakan singkatan kepada ucapan ご卒業おめでとうございます(gosotsugyou omedetou gozaimasu) yang membawa maksud " selamat graduate! ". yap. setelah 3 tahun duduk relax2 sambil tunggu duit masuk tiap2 bulan kat Nagano National Collage of Technology (NNCT), akhirnya graduate juga aku drpd sekolah ini. foreign student yg graduate tahun ni ada 4 org aje. 3 mesia sorang mongol.

baru aku tahu, majlis graduasi kat jepun nih teramatlah formal dan bosan yang amat. majlis ni menyedarkan aku balik betapa skema nya orang jepun bila buat majlis2 formal macam ni. semua org dalam dewan tu senyap aje bila org kat atas stage bercakap. aku rasa kalau aku kentut pon bole dengar satu dewan. serious. senyap gila sampai kan bole rasa mcam nak pening kepala.

kalau mcam kat mesia, student sorang2 gi naik pentas pastu ambik sijil masing2 kan? kat jepun tidak. hanya wakil kelas aje yg pegi ambik sijil. sijil kita tu akan diedarkan selepas majlis selesai. sangat la tidak meriah. tapi aku rasa mcam nak gelak plak bila pengacara majlis tu sebut nama aku. ada dekat 30 minit aku ajar dia cara nak sebut nama aku dengan betul (aku ajar dia 2 hari lepas, mesti dah lupa la tu), tapi kantoi jugak. maaa... tak kesah la, nak buat mcam mana, lidah org jepun ni memang dah keras.

pastu yg sial nya, mcam mana la mobile phone aku bole bunyi lak time wakil student bagi ucapan. gonjeng call. dah la melodi pac man yg happy gila. sedang wakil student tu tgk syiok + feel gila bagi ucapan sampai teresak2 atas stage tu, dan sumer org dah mcam 感動 (kandou - deeply moved emotionally), bole pulak aku rosakkan suasana terharu + sedih diaorg. sorry to stole your thunder! tapi bila aku dapat aje sijil aku, aku rasa ok la kot sebab cantik dan cool sijil aku tu. dapat dua pulak tuh. satu versi english satu lagi versi japanese. bebudak jepun lain dapat sijil versi japanese aje. hahaha bengang aje bila aku pegi belagak ngan diaorg hahaha. cuma dai chan aje yg stay cool tak kata apa2.

majlis abis, sumer org nak ambik gamba. keluar2 aje dewan, kohai2 aku dr communication club dah tunggu. sanggup gak diaorg datang eh. diaorg sumer nampak mcam happy aje, kecuali asami chan. budak ni memang la. buat2 sedih lak time berpisah. time farewell party ari tu pon mcam tu jugak. salam ngan aku tak nak lepas tangan. aku pon turut jadi sedih. dah la manicure kuku dia bagi aku tak kawaii sebab besar sangat hahaha. ada jugak rupa2nya org yg nak sedih berpisah ngan aku ni hahaha. nampak sangat aku ni senpai yg baik, penyayang lagi disayangi hahaha. hitomi chan plak sporting gila posing ngan aku for the camera. tapi dia tinggi 10cm drpd aku la. dah la pakai high heels, terpaksa la aku panjangkan leher sket.

pastu bini bars (budak mongolian) makin lawa pulak. aduh best nya bars dah ada bini. lawa gila plak tuh hahaha. dulu time aku mula2 jumpa bini dia time baru sampai jepun, nampak mcam biasa aje, tapi skang bila dia dah pandai bergaya style jepun.... fuuuh !!! nasib baik bini memba, kalo tak memang la... hehehehe. tapi aku rasa bini dia suka kat aku la. mcam selalu aje usha aku hehehehe asal aku bole perasan lak nih. ish ish ish tak bole suka kat bini memba sendiri, nanti tak pasal2 kena penampar sumo bars perkasa. dah la tadi time aku jogging, bole terserempak ngan dia sensorang naik motor.

aku sempat tangkap2 gamba sket ngan kohai2 aku tu tapi tak sempat cakap sangat sebab aku ngan classmate aku dah kena pegi 謝恩会 (shaonkai - majlis 'terima kasih cikgu' - you got the meaning right?). aku sebenarnya nak jugak cakap sepatah dua kat diaorg, yg aku dah anggap diaorg mcam adik2 aku sendiri, tapi takde masa.... ah nanti aku tulis la surat kat diaorg, selesai masalah kan?

kat shaonkai tu tak banyak sangat makanan yang aku bole makan. ada sashimi salmon. sedap gila. pastu ada kai yaki. ni pon sedap. pastu seafood pilaf. tarako spagetti. salad. pastu buah2an. yg lain sumer HARAAAAMMMM!!! tapi aku rasa sedikit gembira plak bila yui kun yg dulu nya asyik duk tarbiyah aku supaya makan babi, kali ni dia plak yg warn aku pasal lasagnia yg ada daging. aku dah tau dah tapi happy gak tengok dia dah berubah. jadi matang sket.

pastu tiba la time sensorang bagi ucapan. kitaorg dibahagikan kepada research group memasing so macam biasa la, kalo research group aku, memang aku la yg kena jadi leader buat semua. group2 lain bagi la ucapan2 yg lucu2 tapi group aku lain. bila group aku dipanggil, aku pegi aje dekat microphone, pastu dengan selamba aje nyanyi lagu sakura (moriyama naotaro) sampai habis. murata, nagato ngan yuusei buat gaya tengah menangis kat belakang. abis nyanyi, belah aje tak cakap apa2. mcam sial aje tapi nasib baik sumer org gelak. kalo tak memang la teramat la kurang ajar ngan cikgu2.

pastu aku rasa nagasaka sensei dah mabuk gila time dia bagi ucapan. dah la tiba2 aje citer pasal bini dia yg kononnya power blow job, pastu nyanyi lagu folk nagano sambil menari2 keliling bilik. sensei ni memang power gila. tiap2 bulan mesti gi oversea buat presentation pasal research dia. tapi bila dah mabuk, memang buat benda2 bangang. haha.

bila lebih kurang jam 1800, shaonkai abis. dan masa terakhir aku bersama memba2 sekelas aku pon turut sama habis. time bebudak nih dah mabuk2 baru la aku sibuk2 nak ambik gamba ngan diaorg. ah, lupa plak nak ambik gamba ngan nagasaka sensei!

abis shaonkai, aku pegi umah bak sebab mak dia ada buat nasi beriyani untuk makan lepas baca yasin sempena naik rumah baru. rumah ni memang modern gila. bila aku tengok aje rumah bak, aku dah nekad. aku nak kerja kat jepun. abis degree aku tak nak balik malaysia terus. rent 70000 yen sebulan tapi syarikat bayar 40000 yen so ok la. mak dia pon ada bawak 2 bakul kfc drpd mesia, so kitaorg yg memang dah kempunan kfc halal ni apa lagi, melantak la. sambil makan tengok episod terakhir drama hana yori dango season 2. aduih mcam hindustan pon ada gak jalan citer drama nih. apa la yg best sgt pasal drama nih selain drpd pelakon2 dia yg kawaii?

eh post aku hari dalam bahasa melayu la!